What is the manosphere

Online communities promoting narrow definitions of masculinity that oppose feminism and gender equality. They promote emotional control, material wealth, physical appearance and dominance over women as markers of male worth.

Ideas are old, reach is new

Misogyny has existed for a long time, says Genevieve Sheppard from Our Watch.What's different today is the reach and business model.

Blaming women for real problems

A recurring tactic is to take real difficulties like loneliness, financial insecurity or uncertainty about relationships and blame women and feminism. This offers a simple yet inaccurate explanation that reinforces male entitlement and resentment.

Watch for new language

Dr Zac Seidler from Movember says to look for terms like alpha, high value, red pill, simp or the matrix, or talking about women in transactional or contemptuous ways.

One source, one truth

Watch for constantly quoting the same few influencers and treating them as the only people telling the truth. This one-source thinking is a warning sign someone is skirting around the edges of manosphere content.

Growing grievance and withdrawal

Rising grievance means a growing sense that the world is rigged against men or that women, feminism or the system are to blame.Pulling back from friends or family who disagree is also a red flag.

Rigid self-improvement

Gym, money and discipline are not bad things. It becomes a flag when they come with shame, contempt for weak men, or the idea that your worth depends on dominance, says Dr Seidler.

Stay close, get curious

Your relationship is the best antidote, but avoid shocking or shaming them. Get curious, not combative. What does he like about this guy? What need is underneath: loneliness, rejection, feeling lost or unseen?

Don't lecture, you'll lose them

Dr Billy Garvey says if we lecture boys, we lose them.Start with curiosity because correction often leads to conflict.

“If we lecture them, we lose them.”

Offer better pathways

Many boys are lost and unhealthy messages hook them with promises of confidence, power and success.

Share your own story

Share your own story, the traps you have fallen into, the hurt you have experienced and caused, and most importantly how you repaired and found a better way yourself, says Dr Garvey.

Start conversations early

These conversations are already happening for your kids without you there to guide them. Start with low pressure when your kids feel safe, like during a walk around the block or while playing together with…

Body language matters most

Body language, tone of voice and lack of judgement are just as important as what you actually say, if not more.

Not a passing wave

Dr Seidler says this is not a passing wave given the volume and ferocity of online misogyny fuelled by tech platforms. The underpinning themes have not changed, but their reach has.

Young men seek belonging

Many young men are lonely and these spaces offer an instant sense of brotherhood.You are part of something, you share a language and someone is on your side.

Respect and status matter

Young men want to feel they count and that people see them as capable. When that is not happening at school, at work or in relationships, someone promising to make them high value is hard…

Making sense of pain

Rejection, failure, anxiety and feeling invisible all hurt, and most boys have not been given the words or the space to talk about that.

Offer real belonging instead

None of these needs are the problem.They are completely normal, healthy human needs.The problem is that the manosphere offers a distorted way of meeting them.