From Business Insider · Caroline Chirichella · · 2m
American mom raising kids in Italy
School lunches, family involvement, and freedom look nothing like what she knew growing up in New York.
In brief
School lunches, family involvement, and freedom look nothing like what she knew growing up in New York. Italian parenting prioritizes quality food, family involvement, community trust, and keeping kids close to home, contrasting sharply with the structured, independence-focused American approach. Originally reported…
From New York to Italy
Caroline moved to Italy at 24 and has lived there for over 12 years, raising her 8-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son entirely in Italian culture while drawing on her New York City upbringing.
School lunches are gourmet
Italian school meals include multiple courses like pasta with vegetables, meatballs or fish, fresh sides, and occasional desserts, prepared by local cooks and overseen by restaurants. A stark contrast to American cafeteria food.
Less pressure to overschedule
Italian kids participate in after-school activities based on genuine interest, not résumé-building. The focus is on what children actually want to do, not filling every available hour.
Kids have more freedom
Italian parents allow children to take more risks and monitor them less closely than American parents. Kids climb risky equipment while parents chat nearby, building confidence and independence.
Safety shaped her caution
Growing up in New York City, safety was paramount. Caroline struggles with Italy's looser approach and finds herself more cautious than local parents, though she recognizes the benefits of letting kids understand real-world risks.
Extended family is essential
Italian parenting spreads responsibility across generations. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins actively help raise children instead of relying on babysitters and nannies.
Community knows everyone
Small Italian communities are close-knit with shared responsibility for children's safety. This sense of collective care differs from the more isolated neighborhoods Caroline knew in New York.
Kids stay home longer
Italian children often live at home into adulthood, even after marriage, until they have stable jobs and income. Family remains central to identity, unlike the American emphasis on early independence.
Blending two worlds
Caroline combines the best of both cultures: Italian independence, family values, and community with American safety consciousness. She acknowledges parenting is hard everywhere, with no single right way.
“No matter where you live in the world, there is no right or wrong way to parent; it's probably hard wherever you call home.”
The big picture
Italian parenting prioritizes quality food, family involvement, community trust, and keeping kids close to home, contrasting sharply with the structured, independence-focused American approach.
