From Business Insider · Samantha Priestley · · 3m
Three under one roof for nine years
When Samantha Priestley's partner moved in, he joined her adult daughter too. Nine years on, they have built a life together through compromise, boundaries and shared traditions.
In brief
When Samantha Priestley's partner moved in, he joined her adult daughter too. Nine years on, they have built a life together through compromise, boundaries and shared traditions. A woman, her adult daughter and her partner have lived together for nine years by setting clear boundaries, prioritizing alone time and…
A casual decision to move in
Samantha Priestley had been dating her partner for a couple of years when he was staying over often.One morning as he left for work with a duffel bag, she said, "This is stupid.
“This is stupid. Why don't you just move in?”
But he moved in with two people
Priestley's adult daughter lived at home. When her partner moved in, he joined both of them. Nine years later, with her daughter now thirty, this is still their setup.
Everyone had to adjust their routines
Priestley's daughter had moved back after finishing school.When the partner arrived, the three of them moved into a four-bedroom Edwardian terrace house.
The partner felt pressure to fit in
The partner was used to leaving things lying around when he lived alone, but now lived with two women who liked things tidy.
Priestley had to split her time
The biggest compromise for Priestley was with her time.Her attention was only required by her daughter when at home, but now she had to split it between them, which could be tiring.
They created new shared routines
Priestley and her daughter had always cooked dinner together, so they kept doing it almost every evening.Her partner also likes cooking, so they made a new habit of making a big breakfast together every weekend.
Space and alone time prevent tension
Priestley found that cohabitation can be hard and sometimes they bug each other.She felt caught in the middle over small tensions.
The daughter is treated as an adult
Priestley told her partner to treat her daughter like an adult roommate, not a child.The daughter contributes financially and splits household chores.Priestley told him, "Think of this like a house-share with a friend."
“Think of this like a house-share with a friend.”
They built their own traditions
When the daughter wanted to watch old movies, they made every Saturday movie night. The three go out for dinner together, spend holidays together, and take trips together. They see each other as family.
The daughter is saving to move out
The daughter is currently saving enough money to get her own place.Priestley says it will be great to have space and time to live as a couple, which they never have.
In short
A woman, her adult daughter and her partner have lived together for nine years by setting clear boundaries, prioritizing alone time and treating the daughter as an adult roommate rather than a child.
