From Business Insider · Berkeley Mashburn · · 1m 50s
Why long-distance love worked in my 20s
A transatlantic relationship taught one woman that distance can actually strengthen a partnership when you're young and building your life.
In brief
A transatlantic relationship taught one woman that distance can actually strengthen a partnership when you're young and building your life. Long-distance relationships in your 20s can work because they let you build careers, get to know someone deeply through conversation, and avoid pressure to define things too…
Meeting across continents
Berkeley met Maxime, a Frenchman, in a Lisbon hostel in 2021 when she was 25. Despite living on opposite sides of the Atlantic, they couldn't stop talking and decided to try dating long-distance.
No pressure to rush commitment
The distance lowered the stakes. Berkeley didn't feel compelled to define the relationship immediately or ask if they were exclusive. She took things one conversation and one visit at a time.
Freedom to chase career moves
With an ocean between them, both could pursue opportunities without worrying about the relationship. Maxime took rotations in Sweden and Belgium while Berkeley took acting classes and wrote for her travel blog.
Conversation over chemistry
They talked or texted nearly every day despite a seven-hour time difference. Berkeley got to know Maxime deeply through months of conversation before physical attraction clouded her judgment.
“Dating long-distance taught me that you aren't supposed to be all-in for someone the day you meet.”
Travel tested compatibility
Berkeley visited Maxime in three countries while he worked abroad, and showed him her favorite places in Texas. These trips revealed how they navigated the world together and reinforced their compatibility.
From apart to together
After nearly three years of dating long-distance, Berkeley and Maxime now live together in New York and are planning their future. She credits those years apart with bringing them closer.
The real lesson about love
Long-distance relationships work in your 20s because they let you build yourself first. You get to know someone slowly, share experiences, and commit only when you're happier together than apart.
What it means
Long-distance relationships in your 20s can work because they let you build careers, get to know someone deeply through conversation, and avoid pressure to define things too quickly.
