From Chicago Sun-Times · · 1m 30s
Dear Abby: Friends skip mom's memorial
A reader feels abandoned after friends skip mother's memorial.
In brief
A reader feels abandoned after friends skip mother's memorial. A person who attended many friends' events but had few respond to their mother's memorial feels resentment over being overlooked. Originally reported by Chicago Sun-Times.
Dear Abby: Friends skip mom's memorial
A reader feels abandoned after friends skip mother's memorial.
“Dear Abby: I attend friends' events, but many skipped my mother's memorial”
Mother's death triggers resentment
A reader shares how friends skipped their mother's memorial despite attending many friends' events.
“My mom died of extreme old age recently. She was a sweet woman everyone loved.”
Friends give excuses for absence
Friends cite soccer games and birthday parties as reasons for skipping the memorial.
“Excuses for not attending Mom’s memorial included going to a grandkid’s soccer game and attending a 2-year-old’s birthday party.”
Reader feels isolated
The reader feels resentment over being the last to achieve milestones and having few reciprocations.
“I was the last to graduate, get a career job, start a relationship, buy a house, be married and so forth.”
Spouse suggests focus on relationship
The reader's spouse advises focusing on their relationship rather than friends.
“My spouse says I shouldn’t stress and that all we need is each other (said by someone who has a huge, loving family whereas my family is just me and my dad).”
Reader seeks support
The reader asks for help dealing with feelings of resentment and abandonment.
“How do I deal with my feelings of resentment, abandonment and being a low priority?”
Dear Abby responds
Dear Abby advises the reader to be grateful for their core support group and view others as acquaintances.
“In the final analysis, all you need is each other, though a few supportive friends would certainly be welcome.”
Reader's guilt about moving
A reader feels guilt about moving out after roommates' cooking affects their health.
“I would like to move out into a studio of my own. The lease on this apartment is currently a month-to-month, so the only thing keeping me here is the guilt I feel about burdening my roommates with this.”
Roommates' cooking problem
Roommates' cooking produces strong smells that the reader cannot tolerate due to medication.
“Their cooking produces extremely strong smells that I cannot tolerate. My medication causes hypersensitivity to odors, and I can no longer stand to be in the kitchen because the smells linger.”
Reader's health concerns
The reader's diet and sleep are suffering due to roommates' cooking schedule.
“They also live on a very different schedule from me. As a result, my diet and sleep are both suffering.”
Reader's plan to move
The reader plans to move to a studio to prioritize their health.
“I want to do right by them, but I know it would be best for me to leave.”
Dear Abby's advice
Dear Abby advises the reader to explain the problem and consider moving to a smaller place.
“There is no reason why you should feel guilty for leveling with this couple; your health must come first.”
What matters most
A person who attended many friends' events but had few respond to their mother's memorial feels resentment over being overlooked.
