From Cosmopolitan · Rachel Varina · · 2m
Handcuffs for Sex: Beginner Guide
How to safely use handcuffs during sex with kink experts.
In brief
How to safely use handcuffs during sex with kink experts. Beginners should use soft restraints, practice putting on and off, and check in regularly to avoid injury while experimenting with power dynamics. Originally reported by Cosmopolitan.
Why Use Handcuffs During Sex
Handcuffs change physical ability during sex, creating power dynamics and new intimacy through intentional exploration.
“Handcuffs and other restraints are extremely versatile”
What Kind of Handcuffs Should You Use
Beginners should use soft restraints like neoprene, poly blends, silk, vegan leather, or flexible leather with wider cuffs and adjustable closures.
“Fabric restraints like neoprene, poly blends, silk/satin, vegan leather, and flexible leather are great materials for beginners”
How to Use Handcuffs Safely
Practice putting on and taking off cuffs before use, keep keys or safety scissors within immediate reach, and never leave restrained partners alone.
“Practice putting the cuffs on and taking them off before using them during play”
Positioning for Beginners
Start with hands cuffed in front of the body for comfort, avoid positions that strain shoulders or wrists, and adjust as needed.
“Marley recommends starting with the restrained person’s hands cuffed in front of their body”
Teasing with Restraints
Resist rushing to next steps; use restraints to build anticipation through slow exploration and attention to partner’s responses.
“Teasing and restraints are a great pair”
Checking In Regularly
Check in with partner frequently, ask about comfort, and use safewords or nonverbal signals if adjustments are needed.
“Do you like that? Do you want more? How does that feel?”
How Tight Should Handcuffs Be
Leave space for two fingers between cuffs and wrists; stop if numbness, tingling, or pain occurs.
“Finn recommends leaving enough room to slide two fingers between the restraint and your partner’s wrist”
Why Safety Matters
Avoid metal cuffs that can cause cuts, bruising, or nerve damage; use soft materials and check for signs of injury.
“Finn doesn’t recommend rigid metal or hard plastic cuffs because they can dig into the skin”
Consent and Communication
Discuss wants and limits before use, agree on a safeword, and allow withdrawal of consent at any time.
“Talk about what you want and what you don't want to try”
What Happens Next
After use, remove cuffs carefully, check for irritation, and follow agreed-upon aftercare steps.
“Marley also recommends following through with whatever physical or emotional aftercare you agreed on beforehand”
Key Safety Tips
Never leave restrained partners alone; ensure cuffs are secure but not too tight; stop if signs of injury occur.
“Don’t leave them alone. Even if everything feels fine, a restrained partner should always have someone there who can release them”
Why Beginners Should Start Simple
Beginners should avoid complex positions and focus on comfort, communication, and gradual exploration of power dynamics.
“For your first time, there’s no need to get particularly ambitious with positioning”
The bottom line
Beginners should use soft restraints, practice putting on and off, and check in regularly to avoid injury while experimenting with power dynamics.
