From Harvard Business Review · Herminia Ibarra · · 1m 30s
The missing conversation about working mothers
Work-life balance debates ignore the strain on intimate relationships when women juggle careers, children and partners.
In brief
Work-life balance debates ignore the strain on intimate relationships when women juggle careers, children and partners. Discussions of working mothers focus on childcare and household duties but ignore how careers damage intimate partnerships with spouses. Originally reported by Harvard Business Review.
A senior executive's blunt truth
At a diversity committee meeting, a company's most senior line woman addressed travel demands on executives.
“there will be sex in this house at least once a week, whether you are here or not”
What the balance debate ignores
Work-life balance discussions focus on childcare and household duties.They rarely mention sex, intimacy, or how partners support each other's personal and professional growth.Yet women privately discuss how juggling kids and work affects intimate relationships.
The exhausting daily grind
Executive women describe the same pattern: get up early, get kids to school, work, return for dinner, put kids to bed, work online for hours, fall into bed exhausted.The routine repeats unless travelling.
The hub decider woman
Recent French studies describe the hub decider woman who works full time and manages all family decisions and logistics, including partner's children from earlier marriages and aging parents.
One of three always suffers
One executive woman said her relationship suffered when they adopted a child.She told the author: "I don't think it's hard to combine kids and career.But, it's really hard to do kids, career and a husband.
“I don't think it's hard to combine kids and career. But, it's really hard to do kids, career and a husband. One of the three invariably gets the short shrift.”
Two critical fault lines emerge
Two career stages create built-in relationship strain for women.Mid to late thirties: after having kids, scrambling to restart careers while children are small and demanding.
The one thing
Discussions of working mothers focus on childcare and household duties but ignore how careers damage intimate partnerships with spouses.
