124 trillion dollars changing hands

An estimated 124 trillion dollars will flow from older generations to heirs and charities through 2048. Most of this wealth comes from ordinary people like teachers, entrepreneurs, and project managers across the U.S.

Meet the Millionaires Panel

Kiplinger surveyed 30 millionaires from its My First 1 Million feature series to learn how they discuss inheritance with their heirs. The panel achieved a 100% participation rate on the first survey.

Most parents avoid money talks

More than half of parents ages 55 and older rarely or never discuss money with their children. But among adults earning over 100,000 dollars, 56% discuss money often or sometimes.

Start financial talks early

Millionaires in the panel focused on financial literacy when their kids were young, then shifted to transparency as adults. One parent created a Family Wealth Mission Statement to outline values and priorities.

“Communication is vital in preparing the next generation to be good stewards in preserving, growing and passing on this gift and legacy.”

Be open about retirement spending

One panelist said being upfront about how much they spend in retirement helps children understand their inheritance will be affected. This openness made his kids supportive of his spending decisions.

“Since we are open with our children about our finances, and since they understand that their inheritance is, in part, determined by how long we live and how much we need to spend to take care of ourselves during retirement, they have been very supportive.”

Remove emotion from money talks

One millionaire emphasized keeping financial discussions matter-of-fact and free from emotion. The more families communicate openly, the freer they become from financial anxiety.

“The more you communicate and discuss, the freer you become!”

Most millionaires choose equal splits

Many panelists default to dividing their estates equally among heirs to avoid creating favorites or family conflict. One parent noted that equal treatment prevents rifts after death.

“There should be no favorites. Love all that are close to you equally. Don't create a rift or friction after you pass.”

The even versus fair dilemma

One parent struggled with whether to give more to her daughter who has children, but decided on a 50/50 split between her two kids. She worried about the difference between even and fair distribution.

“I worry about 'even' vs 'fair'. One of my kids (my daughter) is married and has children; the other (my son) is currently single with no kids.”

Some adjust for who needs help

One panelist's mother left more money to the son who was underemployed and living paycheck-to-paycheck, then divided physical assets differently. The family discussed who needed versus deserved help.

“We discussed who needed financial help vs who was deserving of help. Once we worked through that conversation, it became very easy.”

Bill Gates caps his children's inheritance

Microsoft founder Bill Gates plans to leave less than 1% of his 115 billion dollar fortune to his three children. He wants his wealth to not prevent them from achieving their own success.

Capping inheritance prevents demotivation

One panelist fears that revealing a large inheritance could demotivate children from pursuing grades, jobs, and life goals. Another plans to leave each child 4 million dollars but expects them to make their own way.

“I have a fear that if they find out the potential inheritance, it could demotivate them for grades, life and job seeking, etc.”

The Illinois tax exclusion strategy

One panelist plans to leave each child 4 million dollars, which matches Illinois state tax exclusion limits. Everything else goes to charity, ensuring her 21 and 24 year old children must make their own living.

“Our kids know that they will inherit $4 million each, because that is the state tax exclusion in Illinois. Everything (else will) pretty much go to charity.”

Find the middle ground

One panelist warns against both extremes: families that split apart over money arguments and those practicing false scarcity. The goal is giving enough to help but not so much as to harm.

“There has to be a middle ground. I hope our children grow into capable adults who realize their worth is more than money.”

Enough to help, not enough to harm

One panelist said she's glad to give her kids enough to make life comfortable but not enough to ruin them. Too much money can be a curse, but the right amount lets them benefit while staying motivated.

“I'm so glad I get to give (my kids) enough to make life comfortable, but not enough to ruin them, because too much money is a curse, I think.”