From Kiplinger · · 2m
Why Adult Children Choose Estrangement
Adult children increasingly sever ties with parents, seeking independence amid shifting family dynamics.
In brief
Adult children increasingly sever ties with parents, seeking independence amid shifting family dynamics. Estrangement between parents and adult children is rising in visibility but not in rate, driven by mental health, boundaries, and changing family expectations. Originally reported by Kiplinger.
Beatrice Sanders and Kat Schmidt
Beatrice Sanders, 69, a divorced mother, moved to Utah with her daughter Kat Schmidt, 30, after retiring.
Estrangement Begins
Schmidt blocked Sanders' cell number and ended all contact after feeling responsible for her mother's happiness.
Social Media Trends
Reddit forums for estranged adult children have over 30,000 weekly visitors, and a Facebook page for parents has 13,000 followers.
Research on Estrangement
A Cornell survey found 27% of U.S. adults estranged from a close relative, including 17% from parents or children.
Causes of Estrangement
Estrangement can result from abuse, mental illness, or conflicts over core beliefs and values.
Richard Heller's Story
Richard Heller, 67, and his son, 39, have no contact for a decade after Heller's anger led to estrangement.
Samantha's Perspective
Samantha, 35, says her father's anger as a child caused estrangement, but she understands his pain.
Megan Gilligan's View
Megan Gilligan notes parents estranged from children over core beliefs, like a Catholic mother rejecting remarriage.
Joshua Coleman's Insight
Joshua Coleman says traditional family roles have shifted, with children prioritizing mental health over family ties.
Defensive Ignorance
Parents often dismiss detailed child messages as 'crazy' or 'exaggerated' to avoid uncomfortable truths.
Reconciliation Efforts
Psychologists recommend amends letters and understanding both sides to rebuild relationships.
Heller's Experience
Heller tried visiting his son but was blocked after saying he loved him and wanted to talk.
Pew Research Findings
77% of parents say their relationship with adult children is excellent or very good, highlighting family closeness.
Sanders' Future Plans
Sanders is moving to South Carolina to live with her brother due to health issues.
Rebuilding Tips
Parents should respect boundaries, avoid stalking, and seek outside help to rebuild relationships.
The bottom line
Estrangement between parents and adult children is rising in visibility but not in rate, driven by mental health, boundaries, and changing family expectations.
