From Psychologies · Nina Parage · · 1m
Children Who Stop Talking to Parents Haven't Lost Self-Confidence
Parents often misread child silence as distrust, but it may stem from how questions are asked.
In brief
Parents often misread child silence as distrust, but it may stem from how questions are asked. Children who stop talking to parents haven't lost self-confidence; their silence often results from how parents ask questions. Originally reported by Psychologies.
Why Children Stop Talking
Parents often misread child silence as a loss of trust when it may actually be how questions are asked.
“Votre enfant répond "bien" à tout et hausse les épaules dès que vous l'interrogez sur sa journée ?”
Study Finds Spontaneous Confessions Matter More
Swedish research shows children share more when parents ask open questions rather than direct ones.
“Les chercheurs ont comparé deux sources d'information : ce que l'enfant raconte spontanément et ce que les parents obtiennent en surveillant ou en interrogeant.”
Questions Can Close Children's Voices
Questions perceived as control may make children silent, even if they are not the cause of the silence.
“Une question vécue comme un contrôle peut refermer l'enfant.”
Open Questions Work Better
Open questions like 'Tell me about your day' get more detailed answers than yes/no questions.
“Les invitations ouvertes ('Raconte-moi') ont produit des réponses plus détaillées que les questions ciblées.”
What Parents Should Do
Replace 'Did your day go well?' with 'Tell me about your day' and follow up with the child's responses.
“Raconte-moi un moment de ta journée.”
The main idea
Children who stop talking to parents haven't lost self-confidence; their silence often results from how parents ask questions.
