From Psychologies · Laurena Valette · · 1m 50s
Kissing in public says more than you think
A study across three countries found that couples who show affection openly report happier relationships, but the link is messier than it looks.
In brief
A study across three countries found that couples who show affection openly report happier relationships, but the link is messier than it looks. Affection matters more than where you show it. The goal is being able to give tenderness and receive it, within your own limits. Originally reported by Psychologies.
Hand-holding divides people
Holding hands in the street, a head on a shoulder in the train, a kiss goodbye in front of friends. Some couples do it without thinking. Others find it unthinkable the moment anyone might look.
400 people, three countries
A study in PLOS One tracked affectionate gestures among more than 400 people in Indonesia, Nepal and Poland. The same pattern showed up in all three.
More affection, more satisfaction
Researchers at the University of Silesia asked people aged 18 to 49 how often they held hands, kissed or hugged their partner. The more affection they reported, in private and in public, the happier they said they were.
Correlation, not a cure
A kiss on the street is not a fix for a struggling relationship. Happy couples may simply feel freer to show it, and the gestures then keep a closeness that was already there.
Your country shapes your gestures
Poles reported the most public affection, Indonesians the least. Indonesian participants also held the most negative views of couples who kiss in public. Religious, social and family norms set the rules.
Most kisses, not most happiness
Nepalese participants reported the highest relationship satisfaction, ahead of Poles and then Indonesians. The country with the most public affection was not the happiest one.
Tenderness, on your own terms
A private person can have a rich relationship without ever wanting to kiss on the metro. What these gestures really show is a capacity to give tenderness and to take it in.
The bottom line
Affection matters more than where you show it. The goal is being able to give tenderness and receive it, within your own limits.
