From Psychologies · Cécilia Ouibrahim · · 1m 20s
The telltale sign of self-centered people
Harvard researchers identify boomerasking, a conversation habit that reveals narcissism and self-absorption.
In brief
Harvard researchers identify boomerasking, a conversation habit that reveals narcissism and self-absorption. When someone asks you a question just to answer it themselves, they're likely seeking validation or disguising criticism, and you can defuse it by asking why they're asking. Originally reported by Psychologies.
What is boomerasking
Boomerasking is asking a question you already know the answer to, just so you can answer it yourself. The question boomerangs back to the asker, revealing self-centered behavior.
“The question revient rapidement à la source”
How it works in conversation
Someone asks "How was your weekend?" and lets you answer, then immediately responds with their own story. The question returns to them like a boomerang, making the conversation about themselves.
Three types of boomerasking
Researchers at Harvard identified three forms: boast-asking to show off, complaint-asking to gain sympathy, and share-asking to mention something neutral they want to discuss anyway.
Why it annoys people
Boomeraskers think they're being subtle, but they come across as egocentric. The hidden question often masks judgment, criticism, or disguised opinions that make others uncomfortable.
How to respond effectively
Ask them why they're asking. Stay factual and calm without getting emotional. Use humor to defuse the situation. Avoid justifying yourself and keep control of the conversation.
The essence
When someone asks you a question just to answer it themselves, they're likely seeking validation or disguising criticism, and you can defuse it by asking why they're asking.
