From Psychologies · Louise Leboyer · · 50s
Why Being Liked by Everyone Makes You Less Good
Being liked by everyone makes you less good: a psychologist explains how people-pleasing backfires.
In brief
Being liked by everyone makes you less good: a psychologist explains how people-pleasing backfires. People who please everyone are less likely to act morally well because they prioritize others' needs over their own. Originally reported by Psychologies.
The Moral Mistake
You think acting kindly makes you good, but this common moral error can produce the opposite effect.
“Cette erreur morale très courante peut produire exactement l’effet inverse”
Why People-Pleasing Backfires
People who please everyone become less moral because they prioritize others' needs over their own well-being.
“Lorsque l'on se concentre exclusivement sur le fait de satisfaire tout son entourage, nos actions sont motivées non pas tant par ce qui est juste que par la peur de la désapprobation”
Signs of a Good Person
Good people feel confident, have clear values, and act with kindness without internal conflict.
“Vous donnez l’impression d’être sympathique et agréable en apparence, mais à l’intérieur, vous vous sentez complètement perdu”
The Real Moral Strength
True moral strength comes from self-awareness and acting with kindness without seeking approval.
“Quand on ressent sa propre bonté naturelle, on est plus enclin à agir bien”
What Happens Next
People who please everyone risk losing their moral compass and feeling overwhelmed by resentment.
“Le ressentiment, la frustration et la colère accumulés peuvent progressivement faire disparaître la frontière entre le bien et le mal”
The short version
People who please everyone are less likely to act morally well because they prioritize others' needs over their own.
