From Psychologies · Nina Parage · · 1m
Why Constant Apologies Signal Hidden Anxiety
Excessive apologies reveal social hypervigilance, not politeness, according to psychologists.
In brief
Excessive apologies reveal social hypervigilance, not politeness, according to psychologists. People who apologize frequently often have social anxiety, not high politeness, as psychologists find. Originally reported by Psychologies.
Excessive Apologies Signal Hidden Anxiety
Psychologists say constant apologies often indicate social hypervigilance, not politeness.
“Les personnes qui s'excusent sans cesse ne sont pas toujours les plus polies : ce que révèle ce réflexe selon les psys”
Women Apologize More But Face Similar Offenses
Women report more apologies and offensive actions than men, but both genders apologize in 81% of cases where they feel an action needs repair.
“Les femmes ont rapporté davantage d'excuses que les hommes, mais elles ont aussi déclaré avoir commis davantage d'écarts jugés offensants.”
Men Apologize Less Due to Lower Offense Sensitivity
Men perceive fewer situations as offensive than women, so they apologize less often despite not being shy about admitting fault.
“Les hommes ne refusent pas de s'excuser par orgueil ou par peur de paraître faibles. Ils perçoivent simplement moins de situations comme relevant d'une offense.”
Over-Apologizing Hurts Professional Perception
People who apologize too frequently gain warmth and moral appeal but lose perceived authority and control in professional settings.
“Le personnage qui s'excusait très fréquemment récoltait une image plus chaleureuse et plus morale que celui qui ne s'excusait jamais, mais il perdait des points sur l'assertivité et le sentiment de contrôle qu'il inspirait.”
Apology Frequency Creates Social Paradox
More apologies increase sympathy but reduce perceived competence and leadership effectiveness, creating a social paradox.
“Ce grand écart entre chaleur et autorité éclaire un vrai paradoxe social : multiplier les « pardon » renforce la sympathie qu'on inspire, mais grignote la perception de compétence et de pouvoir.”
What it means
People who apologize frequently often have social anxiety, not high politeness, as psychologists find.
