From Slate Magazine · Jenée Desmond-Harris · · 1m 20s
Brother-in-law ignores dinner table phone rule
Brother-in-law refuses to stop using phone at family dinners despite host's requests.
In brief
Brother-in-law refuses to stop using phone at family dinners despite host's requests. Host must decide between ending relationship with brother-in-law or understanding his medical needs. Originally reported by Slate Magazine.
Brother-in-law brings phone to dinners
Brother-in-law insists on bringing and pulling out his iPhone at every meal the host hosts.
“I spend hours cooking and shopping for these family meals, which I enjoy doing”
Host requests phone-free dinners
Host has requested brother-in-law not use phone at dinner but he continues to do so.
“I feel his phone use is disrespecting me when I have worked so hard and requested that he not do so”
Brother-in-law handles dishes with phone
Brother-in-law uses phone while handling utensils and dishes when phones are dirty.
“He is handling utensils and dishes when the phones are filthy”
Host considers ending relationship
Host is ready to end relationship with brother-in-law by not inviting him to dinners.
“I am ready to scream. Should I speak to him ahead of time and threaten no more invites?”
Sister-in-law defends brother-in-law
Sister-in-law says brother-in-law’s habits cannot be changed due to his medical condition.
“Her excuse is that you can’t change an older person’s habits”
Prudence advises reconsidering approach
Prudence suggests host reconsider why brother-in-law uses phone and whether it’s personal or medical.
“Could it be that he’s shy or socially awkward, and being able to seek refuge in his phone allows him to take mental breaks while still being present?”
Prudence questions phone use impact
Prudence asks if brother-in-law’s phone use is a sign of medical condition or personal disrespect.
“If he has an unhealthy addiction to technology, does it feel any different if you remember that this isn’t personal and is rooted in his brain, not his level of respect for you?”
Prudence suggests understanding brother-in-law
Prudence recommends talking to brother-in-law to understand his medical needs or online community.
“Even just talking to him to understand why he’s so attached to his phone might help you understand him”
Host must choose consequence
Host must decide between ending relationship with brother-in-law or understanding his medical needs.
“What makes you more upset, the disrespect you feel as a result of his phone use or the prospect of seriously damaging your relationship with him and your sister-in-law?”
The takeaway
Host must decide between ending relationship with brother-in-law or understanding his medical needs.
