From Slate Magazine · Jessica Stoya, Rich Juzwiak · · 1m 20s
Long Distance Love Awkwardness
First visits feel awkward for long distance couples.
In brief
First visits feel awkward for long distance couples. A woman experiences initial physical discomfort when her long distance boyfriend visits, but she expects it to improve with time. Originally reported by Slate Magazine.
First Visit Awkwardness
A 32-year-old woman feels physical discomfort when her long distance boyfriend visits for the first time.
“Every time, without fail, that first day and the first time we have sex feel awkward.”
Initial Intimacy Shift
She feels nervous during kisses and resists physical contact on the first day.
“I can feel myself not really wanting him to touch me, which he’s respectful of.”
Text Intimacy Works
They maintain deep intimacy through sexting and text messages when apart.
“We’re so deeply intimate in sexting and just in general life stuff when we’re apart.”
Pattern Emerges
After three visits, she notices a pattern of awkwardness on the first day.
“After our third visit, I’m noticing a pattern.”
Expert Insight
Experts say the shift from digital to physical intimacy takes time to adjust.
“The shift to being in person in the same space can take some catching up.”
Body Adjustment
Her body needs time to catch up with her feelings after long distance.
“It’s OK that this is happening, and I don’t think it bodes negatively for the relationship.”
Open Communication
She should share her feelings with her boyfriend to avoid misunderstandings.
“It’s really important to clue him in on what’s going on.”
Neurodiversity Tip
Creating a routine helps with the transition from digital to physical intimacy.
“Having an actual routine, once it becomes familiar, can make the transition go faster.”
First Night Strategy
Waiting to kiss until she actively wants it can ease the transition.
“Let your body adjust to that, to where it gets to the point where you actively desire that kind of contact.”
Long Term Outlook
The awkwardness improves over time as they get used to being together.
“It’s kind of awkward. Even with that, you wrote a bunch of effusive things about this guy and your relationship, so you’re doing great.”
What Happens Next
She shares her feelings with her boyfriend to find a solution.
“I wonder if I should come clean to him about how those first few moments have been feeling to me.”
The big picture
A woman experiences initial physical discomfort when her long distance boyfriend visits, but she expects it to improve with time.
