The problem with bucket lists

Traditional bucket lists focus on unfulfilled dreams, which can feel depressing. Simon Sinek, host of A Bit of Optimism, says staring at things you haven't done leads to disappointment and regret.

“You die with a list of things you've never done. And that just leads to disappointment and regret.”

Sinek's solution

About fifteen years ago, Sinek started keeping a reverse bucket list: a log of wonderful things he'd already experienced, like seeing a complete rainbow instead of just part of one.

Joy scrolling

Sinek keeps his list on his phone and sometimes stumbles across it while searching for something else. He calls it joy scrolling and asks why he shouldn't get credit for good things that showed up organically.

“It's joy scrolling. Why shouldn't I get credit for these things that showed up organically in my life?”

How it changes your thinking

A reverse bucket list interrupts your brain's habit of always looking ahead. Rachel Needle, a psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida, says it helps you notice everything you've already experienced, survived, learned, or built.

From missing to celebrating

Instead of thinking you're not there yet, you begin noticing how much is already part of your story. This shift can change how you see your life and help you spend more time celebrating what's already yours.

“Instead of thinking, 'I'm not there yet,' you begin noticing, 'Look how much is already part of my story.'”

Countering comparison

For people who feel perpetually behind or compare themselves with others, a reverse bucket list offers concrete reminders of what's gone right. Alyssa Kushner, a licensed clinical social worker in New York, keeps old journals for this reason.

“We get lost in what everyone else is doing, so we forget what we're actually doing.”

What to include

Record both big milestones and micro moments of joy: a Tuesday dinner where friends stayed chatting for three hours, a beautiful morning with coffee, or a five-minute exchange with a stranger that felt like connection.

Credit yourself for challenges

Include challenges you've overcome, relationships you've nurtured, and moments when you did something that took courage. Rachel Needle includes finishing her book proposal, reconnecting with friends, and planning a trip to London with her mom.

“You're more resilient than maybe you're giving yourself credit for on a regular basis.”

How to keep and revisit it

Use a journal, notebook, or phone, whatever you'll actually return to. Treat it as a living document that grows. You can add weekly or whenever things happen, with no rules required.

“There's no rules here.”

The payoff

Periodically revisit what you've written and linger over entries long enough to remember what made you laugh, who was there, and how you felt. The point is letting yourself feel good about it again.

“letting yourself feel good about it again”