Lizzie Borden's Girlfriend: The Actress Who Broke Her Heart

The strange, short friendship between America's most infamous accused killer and a struggling stage star who may have been much more.

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Sep 17, 2026

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Lizzie Borden's Girlfriend: The Actress Who Broke Her Heart

The strange, short friendship between America's most infamous accused killer and a struggling stage star who may have been much more.

In brief

The strange, short friendship between America's most infamous accused killer and a struggling stage star who may have been much more. Lizzie Borden's intense friendship with actress Nance O'Neil led to family estrangement and heartbreak when O'Neil abandoned her. Originally reported by Vanity Fair.

Where Lizzie first saw Nance

Lizzie Borden likely spotted actress Nance O'Neil in a 1904 Boston production of Magda, not Macbeth as local lore claims.

Boston's new tragic sensation

The Boston Globe gushed about O'Neil's magnetic eyes and flowing blond hair. The 29-year-old became a sensation that captivated the acquitted murderer.

“eyes that are sympathetic and gentle and powerful and, oh so wonderfully magnetic!”

Ryan Murphy's creative liberties

Ryan Murphy's creative liberties

Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story imagines their meeting a dozen years earlier than it happened, before the murders even occurred.

Nance's long chase for fame

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Born Gertrude Lamson in 1874, O'Neil defied her religious father to crash a San Francisco rehearsal as a teenager and land her first role.

Fame was always precarious

O'Neil was undeniably beautiful but questionably talented. After bombing in London, her 1904 Boston success marked a welcome career upswing.

“Nance had a promising new New York premiere, then went off on a world tour, but she actually bombed in London”

A note and a bouquet

The lonely Borden sent O'Neil a note expressing her high regard and asking permission to call on her. She included flowers, like a fan or suitor might.

Did Nance know who Lizzie was

O'Neil claimed she didn't know about the murders until after their friendship began. Historians don't believe that for a second.

“I don't think that's even possible. Nance was a smart lady.”

An unlikely friendship blooms

The gorgeous and famous 29-year-old O'Neil liked frumpy and infamous almost-44-year-old Borden enough to strike up a close friendship.

For my dear Lizbeth with love

O'Neil stayed at Borden's mansion when ill. In June, she gifted Borden an expensive poetry book dedicated to "my dear Lizbeth" from "Daphne."

“for my dear Lizbeth with love from Daphne.”

Were they lovers or just friends

Whether they were romantic or sexual depends on who you ask. What matters is that people thought they were lesbians.

“Whether they were or weren't lesbians, what's important is that people thought they were.”

Loud, boozy parties for days

Borden threw lavish parties for O'Neil's theater troupe with orchestras, caterers, and hired palm trees. Some borrowed money and never repaid her.

Emma leaves Lizzie forever

Sister Emma wasn't a fan of the parties. After confiding in a Reverend, she packed her belongings in June 1905 and moved away forever.

Newspapers blamed Nance O'Neil

Headlines speculated the sisters were estranged over O'Neil. But the sisterly problems were obviously more long-term than that.

“Sisters estranged over Nance O'Neil”

Nance declares bankruptcy and leaves

By 1906, O'Neil was getting bad reviews and running out of money. She declared bankruptcy in May and left for Paris.

No fight, just abandonment

There was no falling out. O'Neil simply got tired of Lizzie, got all she could from her, and moved on without looking back.

“I don't think there was a fight or a falling out, just that she got tired of Lizzie and had got all she could from her and moved on.”

Nance rewrites their history

After Borden's death, O'Neil downplayed their friendship to the press. She described Lizzie as utterly lonely and claimed the murders were never mentioned.

“seemed utterly lonely”

The last laugh belongs to Lizzie

O'Neil would be completely forgotten had she not intersected with Borden. If eternal fame was her goal, then Lizzie got the last laugh.

“Nance O'Neil is someone we probably all would have completely forgotten about had she not briefly intersected with Lizzie Borden”

The essence

Lizzie Borden's intense friendship with actress Nance O'Neil led to family estrangement and heartbreak when O'Neil abandoned her.

Read the original on Vanity Fair

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