Experts reject loneliness startup pitches

Researchers Julianne Holt-Lunstad and Noreena Hertz have fielded pitches from 50 to 60 startups claiming to solve loneliness. Hertz hasn't found a single business model she believed in.

“there hasn't been one where I felt convinced by their business model”

Who are these researchers?

Holt-Lunstad is among the most cited loneliness researchers and led the Surgeon General's 2023 advisory on the topic. Hertz coined the term 'loneliness economy' in her 2020 book.

The loneliness economy is booming

You can now rent friends, hire loneliness coaches for $3,000, attend $1,000 friend-making camps, buy AI pendants that listen to you, or join coworking spaces at $300 a month.

More products keep launching

Apps use AI to pair strangers for activities. Bootcamps teach people to be less shy. Group travel excursions connect solo travelers. The market keeps expanding.

Experts urge caution on monetizing connection

Holt-Lunstad warns developers to evaluate whether their business model actually reaches people who need help, and to think about ways connection can happen organically without monetizing it.

“Think about ways that [connection] can occur organically without monetizing it”

Community became a premium product

Since the early 2000s, gathering spaces shifted from churches and union halls to boutique fitness centers and private clubs. This created a market to sell community at a premium.

The pandemic accelerated the trend

Lockdowns increased perceived loneliness and media coverage of its harms. The Surgeon General called it a health epidemic in 2017, then issued a major 2023 report. Search interest in loneliness grew over 600 percent in five years.

Big money spotted the opportunity

WeWork founder Adam Neumann launched a residential real estate company to solve loneliness with $350 million in funding. The app 222 raised $10 million to pair strangers for activities.

One user's mixed experience with 222

Brian Choi, a 34-year-old video game artist, joined 222 to find people interested in dance. Despite attending a dozen events, he hasn't made serious friendships because people don't follow up after the app-organized meetup.

“It's dependent on individuals to be proactive about inviting folks into their lives after the 222 event”

Influencers are selling community

Content creators host paid community events that boost their brands and attract mostly young, white attendees. This commodification of community is what experts call 'WeWashing.'

Paid services exclude those who need help most

Research shows people with less education or under $75,000 annual income are less socially connected. They can't afford $200 gym memberships or have time to swipe for friends, so these spaces become homogenized by race, class, and ability.

“You're excluding the people who, I think, genuinely could need it”

The core contradiction

To make money, companies either charge high prices or need users to engage constantly. But real relationships develop through patience, repeated interactions, and slow trust-building, not frequent app usage.

Apps mask the symptom, not the problem

Swiping for friends may feel productive and occupy time, but without actually hanging out, it's just a distraction. Apps may be effective at masking loneliness without fulfilling any real social needs.

“It would be like no longer feeling thirsty, but we're not actually drinking any water”

Real barriers to friendship go deeper

Holt-Lunstad's research found internal obstacles like anxiety and fear of rejection, plus external ones like cost, distance, and time. Many people feel shame about needing an app to make friends.

Lonely people are vulnerable to marketing

When people feel they lack close relationships, they're more likely to buy things, including group activities and club memberships they aren't interested in, just to feel part of something.

Targeted ads push more spending

Companies track online activity and serve ads for community services to people searching for local clubs. This drives more spending on services unlikely to actually work.

When does pricing become exploitation?

Concerts and live events can bring people together, but one-off paid knitting clubs organized by venture-backed apps are different. The ethical problem emerges when companies exploit loneliness to pressure purchases.

“The ethical problem begins when a company intentionally exploits a consumer's loneliness, insecure attachment, or fear of missing out to pressure that person into purchasing”

Real solutions require structural change

Addressing loneliness needs government investment in public spaces, low-cost community events, policies enabling dignified life with leisure time, and a cultural shift toward slow relationship building.

The need is real, solutions are questionable

Loneliness is a genuine problem, but many purported solutions may actually make us lonelier as a society. Some products might help, but they're not a substitute for systemic change.

“Some of them may well end up making us lonelier as a society”