From Vox · Jonquilyn Hill · · 3m
What are the rules around cellphone etiquette now?
An etiquette expert explains how to use your phone respectfully around other people in an increasingly rude world.
In brief
An etiquette expert explains how to use your phone respectfully around other people in an increasingly rude world. Phone etiquette boils down to awareness: remember that your device use affects those around you, and communicate when others join your calls or shared spaces. Originally reported by Vox.
Rudeness is on the rise
Nearly half of Americans say people have become ruder since the pandemic, from cutting in line to blasting music on phones without headphones in public.
Manners still matter
Etiquette encourages us to think about others and behave in ways that are not antisocial or dangerous, helping us figure out what we want public life to be.
Emily Post's legacy lives on
Emily Post wrote the definitive etiquette guide in the 1920s. Her great-great-granddaughter Lizzie Post now co-leads the Emily Post Institute, keeping manners relevant for modern times.
Etiquette evolves with the times
Emily Post changed her standards as society changed between 1922 and 1960, removing rules about chaperones as life evolved. Modern etiquette must do the same.
Etiquette isn't just for the wealthy
The word etiquette sounds fancy and can feel like a secret society for the rich, but it's really about courtesy and making shared spaces work for everyone.
Phone etiquette is changing fast
Phone etiquette is emblematic of how quickly times are changing. People often forget they're in public when absorbed in their devices six inches from their face.
Speakerphone and music need headphones
Playing music, taking calls, watching videos, or streaming content on speakerphone is inappropriate when other people are a captive audience who haven't asked to listen.
“blaring anything out of your phone, whether it's a phone call, it's a FaceTime call, it's your TikTok feed, or that movie that you're watching, is all inappropriate when other people are a captive audience”
When to speak up about bad behavior
On short trips, mind your business. But on longer journeys like train rides or flights, it's reasonable to politely ask someone to use headphones.
Be prepared for defensiveness
You can't control other people's behavior, and asking someone to use headphones might trigger rudeness in return. Accept that risk before you speak up.
“You cannot control if this person is going to get defensive.”
Inform the caller about your audience
When someone joins you during a speakerphone call, tell the person on the other end. A simple introduction prevents awkward moments and lets them adjust their language.
Put your phone away at dinner
Keep your phone off the table, on silent, and out of sight during meals. A face-up phone creates unnecessary distractions for everyone at the table.
Respond to time-sensitive texts quickly
When friends or potential romantic partners suggest getting together, don't let the message sit. If you can't make it, explain why and suggest an alternative.
Most texts don't need instant replies
There's no universal rule for text response time. It depends on the message. But don't leave time-sensitive invitations hanging without explanation.
In short
Phone etiquette boils down to awareness: remember that your device use affects those around you, and communicate when others join your calls or shared spaces.
