A Palantir engineer's dating problem

Gary, twenty-three, works at Palantir, the data analytics company cofounded by Alex Karp and Peter Thiel. His salary is two hundred fifty thousand dollars. When he mentions his employer to women, he faces brutal reactions.

Why Palantir is a dating liability

Palantir does controversial work with governments including the US and Israel, using surveillance tools for law enforcement and military operations. One woman told Gary that medical debt was not an excuse to work somewhere like that.

“not an excuse to work somewhere like that”

Gary hides his real employer

Since joining Palantir in twenty twenty-five, Gary has noticed naming his employer prompts brutal reactions. One woman called him the devil; another asked how he lives with himself. He now says he works in AI and makes up stories to justify his job.

Tesla workers face political suspicion

James, twenty-nine, works at Tesla in San Francisco. On a third date with a woman from Raya, she asked whether he voted for Donald Trump in the twenty twenty-four election. She said she needed to check because he works for Tesla.

“You work for Tesla, so I just need to check”

Elon Musk's reputation problem

Musk, recently crowned the world's first trillionaire, is known for his record-breaking donation to Trump's twenty twenty-four campaign, being the brain behind DOGE, dismantling Twitter, an apparent Nazi salute, frequent ketamine use, racist tweets, and something of a breeding kink.

Big Tech's moral failings pile up

Meta created an environment where Russian bots could influence elections and designed features that foster social media addiction among teens. Amazon has been widely accused of unfair labor practices and generating a staggering amount of waste. The AI industry is being widely maligned over claims it is exacerbating job loss, pollution, and a critical-thinking crisis.

Matchmakers now pitch tech guys with caveats

Amy Laurent, founder of a high-end matchmaking company, says ten years ago saying you worked in tech was about innovation, ambition and intelligence. Now many people charge Big Tech with causing the breakdown of society. Laurent now acknowledges women's hesitation right off the bat when pitching tech-employed male clients.

“Listen, I have a great guy to tell you about. He's such a good match for you. Now hear me out: He's in tech.”

Tech careers signal toxic masculinity

Jessica Engle, a family and marriage therapist, has noticed that men in tech worry about being perceived as red-pilled. One of her clients expressed concern about having his Apple Watch visible in dating profile photos, wondering whether it would make him look like a tech bro and signal toxic masculinity.

Women see tech careers as ethical red flags

Mira, twenty-nine, perceives a career in tech as a possible right-wing flag or a sign someone might be manosphere-coded or libertarian. Helen, twenty-eight, questioned the industry's overall impact and realized the things tech people build are secretly really nefarious. She could not personally be with someone who is a puzzle piece in that tapestry.

“I could not personally be with someone who is a puzzle piece in that tapestry”

Some tech workers left for ethical reasons

Helen worked at Grammarly after graduating from Stanford from twenty sixteen to twenty twenty. She then went to work for a mutual-aid platform and now works at an impact investing firm funding technology for underserved communities. Sasha, thirty-one, had a brief stint in AI before moving to a sustainability-focused tech company where she is now chief of staff.

James hides his employer on dating apps

James disclosed his place of work on his Hinge profile but decided against it on Raya. He says he has had more success on Raya. About four months after joining Raya, he met someone. His new girlfriend had recently moved to the Bay Area for medical school and had managed to stay insulated from tech culture.

His girlfriend didn't know the stereotype

James's girlfriend said she felt lucky she did not really know what the tech bro stereotype is. James replied that he did not think he would have made it if she did. His success came from dating someone unfamiliar with tech industry culture and its negative reputation.

“I don't think I would have made it if you did”