Your role isn't to fix it

Watching someone struggle with addiction is painful, but recovery is personal and needs professional support. You can offer care and encourage help, but you can't control their choices.

Learn about addiction first

Addiction affects health, relationships, work, and mood. Understanding this helps you respond with compassion rather than blame, and recognise that criticism often makes people feel more isolated.

Focus on specific concerns

Instead of labelling or accusing, describe what you've noticed. Say "I've noticed you seem exhausted and are missing work. I'm worried about you" rather than making accusations about their behaviour.

Choose the right moment

Avoid conversations when they're intoxicated, angry, or in withdrawal. Pick a private, calm time with enough space to listen. Speak gently and use "I" statements about your concerns.

“I care about you and I am worried about how things have been lately.”

Listen without interrupting

They may deny the problem or become defensive. Ask open questions like "What would need to change?" or "What kind of support would feel helpful?" Listening shows you take their experience seriously.

Encourage professional support

Recovery options range from outpatient counselling to residential rehabilitation. The right choice depends on their substance use, health needs, and risk level. Offer practical help like attending appointments together.

Set clear boundaries

Supporting someone doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour. Decide what you won't do, like lending money for substances or covering up missed work. Explain calmly and stay consistent.

“I care about you and want to support you getting help, but I cannot give you money when I am concerned it may be used for alcohol or drugs.”

Protect your own wellbeing

Supporting someone with addiction is emotionally exhausting. Seek your own support from friends, counsellors, or support groups. You're not responsible for their recovery.

Know when to call 999

Call emergency services immediately if they're unconscious, having a seizure, struggling to breathe, or at risk of harming themselves. Withdrawal from alcohol and benzodiazepines can be dangerous.

You can't force recovery

If they refuse help, keep communicating your concern, offer information, set boundaries, and get support for yourself. Compassion and professional guidance make a meaningful difference.