# 5-Minute Friendship Check-Ins

> Ask your friend how they’re doing in 5 minutes to strengthen bonds.
- Title: 5-Minute Friendship Check-Ins · TIME | Shortify
- Summary: Ask your friend how they’re doing in 5 minutes to strengthen bonds. Friendship check-ins help friends express appreciation and address issues without…
- Keywords: friendship check-in, friendship, appreciation, support, relationship, friendship expert, nick fager, janine o'brien, TIME
- Source: TIME — https://time.com/article/2026/11/11/friendship-check-in-questions
- Author: Angela Haupt
- Published: 2026-11-11T13:00:05.462+00:00
- Read time: 2 min
- Topics: friendship check-in, friendship, appreciation, support, relationship, friendship expert, nick fager, janine o'brien, news, world
## Why friendship check-ins matter
Friendship check-ins help identify hurt feelings before they turn into resentment and support each other through changes.

> We have this expectation that friendships should be easy, that we should always be affirmed, that our friends are kind of there forever
## Therapist Nick Fager's advice
Nick Fager, a therapist in New York, encourages clients to do friendship check-ins: brief conversations about how things are going between you.
## How to start a check-in
Choose a relaxed moment, on a walk or over coffee, and start by telling your friend how much they mean to you.
## What questions to ask
Ask what’s working for you in this friendship right now to find out what you appreciate and what could use a little work.
## Appreciation questions
Starting with what’s good gives you both a chance to feel appreciated and makes it easier to talk about anything that’s been bothering you.
## Contact frequency check
Ask how you feel about your level of contact recently to find out if you’re both happy with how often you connect.
## Revisiting past moments
Ask if there have been any moments recently between you that you’d like to revisit to address unresolved issues.
## Changes in friendship
Ask how your friend has changed recently and how you can support them in that shift.
## Supporting needs
Ask if there’s anything happening in your friend’s life that you can show up for to help them feel supported.
## Goal alignment
Ask how you can keep each other on track for your goals to create meaningful shared activities.
## Unique shared activities
Ask what you’d actually be excited to do together to find meaningful shared experiences.
## Why check-ins work
Part of the challenge of modern friendship is being flexible and open to the variety of friendships we get to have.
## The result
Friendship check-ins help friends express appreciation and address issues without resentment.
## Key takeaway

Friendship check-ins help friends express appreciation and address issues without resentment.