# 8 signs you grew up with authoritarian parents

> Strict parenting shapes adults in lasting ways, from decision-making struggles to perfectionism and trust issues.
- Title: 8 signs you grew up with authoritarian parents · Psychologies
- Summary: Strict parenting shapes adults in lasting ways, from decision-making struggles to perfectionism and trust issues. Authoritarian parenting creates long-term…
- Keywords: authoritarian parenting, childhood trauma, parenting styles, adult psychology, emotional development, self-esteem, decision-making, perfectionism, trust issues, family dynamics, signs, grew
- Source: Psychologies — https://psychologies.com/famille/grandir/Les-adultes-eleves-par-des-parents-autoritaires-reconnaitront-souvent-ces-8-experiences-vecues-pendant-leur-enfance-615245
- Author: Louise Leboyer
- Published: 2026-09-17T19:04:36+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: authoritarian parenting, childhood trauma, parenting styles, adult psychology, emotional development, self-esteem, decision-making, perfectionism, trust issues, family dynamics
## Parenting style shapes your adult self
The way parents raise children affects not just childhood behavior but who they become as adults. Authoritarian parenting can condition personality for better or worse.
## What authoritarian parents do
Authoritarian parents impose strict rules, expect high obedience, but offer little emotional support. They punish mistakes harshly and are often critical and negative.

> Authoritarian parents impose rules, high expectations and accord great importance to obedience.
## Eight traits of strict parents
High demands, little affection, unexplained punishments, few choices, impatience, distrust, refusal to negotiate, and using guilt and shame as pressure tactics.
## Long-term damage to self-esteem
Adults raised this way struggle with low self-esteem, perfectionism, difficulty making autonomous decisions, trouble trusting others, low resilience, and lingering anger.

> Parents who dictate choices and undermine independence create environments where it's hard to feel confident, competent or free to be yourself.
## Phrases that reveal the pattern
Adults from strict homes often say: "I need to think, I can't decide now," "I'm sorry, it's my fault," and "I don't want to cause problems." These reflect guilt, indecision, and people-pleasing.
## Trust and perfectionism struggles
They also say "Yes, that's fine, I don't want to talk about it" and "That's unforgivable, I shouldn't have made that mistake." These show difficulty trusting and fear of showing weakness.

> Even when loved ones show affection, you suspect deep down they've had enough of you.
## Key takeaway

Authoritarian parenting creates long-term patterns in adults including low self-esteem, difficulty making decisions, perfectionism, and trouble trusting others.