# Does Closure Actually Exist?

> Relationship experts reveal closure isn't about someone else's actions but self-healing.
- Title: Does Closure Actually Exist? · Cosmopolitan | Shortify
- Summary: Relationship experts reveal closure isn't about someone else's actions but self-healing. True closure comes from self-acceptance, not waiting for a partner…
- Keywords: closure, relationship, self-healing, psychotherapist, ilona phillips, viviana coles, emotional healing, relationship experts, mental health, Does, Actually, Exist
- Source: Cosmopolitan — https://cosmopolitan.com/relationships/a73824725/is-closure-real
- Author: Syeda Khaula Saad
- Published: 2026-09-23T11:00:00+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: closure, relationship, self-healing, psychotherapist, ilona phillips, viviana coles, emotional healing, relationship experts, mental health
## What is closure?
Some believe closure means finishing a relationship with someone to move on.
## My closure story
I used closure as an excuse to sleep with my ex one more time.
## The trap of expectations
We often expect closure to come from someone else's actions, not our own processing.
## Expert insight
Psychotherapist Ilona Phillips says we get stuck in rumination about why relationships end.

> We can get trapped in our expectations and hopes about closure
## The real closure
True closure happens through self-acceptance, not waiting for answers from a partner.
## Why it's hard
Trying to avoid pain by focusing on negative memories can backfire.
## The slow process
Closure develops gradually through honest reflection, not a single event.
## What it really means
Closure doesn't require answers but acceptance of what happened without blame.

> Closure does not require having no unanswered questions
## Key takeaway

True closure comes from self-acceptance, not waiting for a partner to provide answers.