# Godparent Mistake: Free Nanny Role > A cousin’s request for free childcare led to a godparent role reversal. - Title: Godparent Mistake: Free Nanny Role · Slate Magazine | Shortify - Summary: A cousin’s request for free childcare led to a godparent role reversal. You can’t fire a godparent, but you can stop being their nanny. - Keywords: godparent, cousin, free nanny, childcare, betty, jeneé desmond-harris, dear prudence, nanny, family drama, postpartum depression, housewife, maid - Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/09/godparent-advice-what-does-a-godparent-do.html?via=rss - Author: Jenée Desmond-Harris - Published: 2026-09-22T10:00:00+00:00 - Read time: 1 min - Topics: godparent, cousin, free nanny, childcare, betty, jeneé desmond-harris, dear prudence, nanny, family drama, postpartum depression, housewife, maid ## Godparent confusion A cousin asked the writer to be her son’s godmother despite their strained relationship and her lack of religious practice. > I was surprised by this for two reasons: 1) She and I weren’t and still aren’t particularly close, so I’d be the last person she’d ask for something so big, and 2) She’s not especially religious from my knowledge. ## Free childcare plan The cousin expected the writer to act as a free nanny, watching the child daily or taking him home for her 'downtime'. > She’d either have me come over nearly every day to watch him when I wasn’t at work, or have me take him home so she could have some 'downtime'. ## No religious basis The cousin’s lack of religious practice meant the godparent role was never officially recognized. > She’s not religious, so I was never officiated as her son’s godparent. ## Cousin’s reaction The writer stopped being the cousin’s nanny after she threatened to revoke the godparent role. > I recently told her that I will no longer be able to take care of her son, and she became furious. ## Godparent rules You can’t fire a godparent, but the role is flexible without official recognition. > From what I’ve come to understand, you can’t really 'fire' a godparent, and even if she could, I was never officiated as her son’s godparent. ## New godparent The cousin plans to find a new person to take the godparent title without changing the childcare arrangement. > I have learned that she plans to ask someone else to take the title. ## Advice column The advice columnist says the writer shouldn’t warn the new godparent about the arrangement. > I don’t think you need to go out of your way to warn the new godparent though. ## Why not warn? The arrangement is harmless and the new godparent can decide if they want to babysit. > Godmother #2 will be able to decide for herself whether she wants to babysit at all, and when it becomes too much. ## Cousin’s motive The cousin likely used the godparent title to get free childcare without religious intent. > She either doesn’t understand a godparent’s role or she does and simply used the term to get free babysitting. ## Family tension The writer’s family is dealing with a different issue involving a sister’s accusation of childhood abuse. > A few weeks ago, my younger sister accused an extended relative of abusing her when she was younger. ## Abuse accusation The sister claims she was abused but the writer doesn’t remember any traumatic experiences. > She accused an extended relative of abusing her when she was younger. ## Family pressure Family members are pressuring the writer to confirm or deny the abuse claim. > Dozens of family members have been calling me and my other sister to ask if we were also abused. ## Writer’s stress The writer is overwhelmed by family questions and has other life challenges. > I have a lot of other stuff going on in my life right now (a sick pet, moving, starting a new job). ## Key takeaway You can’t fire a godparent, but you can stop being their nanny.