# Handcuffs for Sex: Beginner Guide > How to safely use handcuffs during sex with kink experts. - Title: Handcuffs for Sex: Beginner Guide · Cosmopolitan | Shortify - Summary: How to safely use handcuffs during sex with kink experts. Beginners should use soft restraints, practice putting on and off, and check in regularly to avoid… - Keywords: handcuffs, sex, kink, bondage, restraints, safety, consent, power dynamics, beginner, sex education, Guide, Cosmopolitan - Source: Cosmopolitan — https://sex.cosmopolitan.com/pleasure/a73857026/how-to-use-handcuffs-during-sex - Author: Rachel Varina - Published: 2026-09-30T17:42:17+00:00 - Read time: 1 min - Topics: handcuffs, sex, kink, bondage, restraints, safety, consent, power dynamics, beginner, sex education ## Why Use Handcuffs During Sex Handcuffs change physical ability during sex, creating power dynamics and new intimacy through intentional exploration. > Handcuffs and other restraints are extremely versatile ## What Kind of Handcuffs Should You Use Beginners should use soft restraints like neoprene, poly blends, silk, vegan leather, or flexible leather with wider cuffs and adjustable closures. > Fabric restraints like neoprene, poly blends, silk/satin, vegan leather, and flexible leather are great materials for beginners ## How to Use Handcuffs Safely Practice putting on and taking off cuffs before use, keep keys or safety scissors within immediate reach, and never leave restrained partners alone. > Practice putting the cuffs on and taking them off before using them during play ## Positioning for Beginners Start with hands cuffed in front of the body for comfort, avoid positions that strain shoulders or wrists, and adjust as needed. > Marley recommends starting with the restrained person’s hands cuffed in front of their body ## Teasing with Restraints Resist rushing to next steps; use restraints to build anticipation through slow exploration and attention to partner’s responses. > Teasing and restraints are a great pair ## Checking In Regularly Check in with partner frequently, ask about comfort, and use safewords or nonverbal signals if adjustments are needed. > Do you like that? Do you want more? How does that feel? ## How Tight Should Handcuffs Be Leave space for two fingers between cuffs and wrists; stop if numbness, tingling, or pain occurs. > Finn recommends leaving enough room to slide two fingers between the restraint and your partner’s wrist ## Why Safety Matters Avoid metal cuffs that can cause cuts, bruising, or nerve damage; use soft materials and check for signs of injury. > Finn doesn’t recommend rigid metal or hard plastic cuffs because they can dig into the skin ## Consent and Communication Discuss wants and limits before use, agree on a safeword, and allow withdrawal of consent at any time. > Talk about what you want and what you don't want to try ## What Happens Next After use, remove cuffs carefully, check for irritation, and follow agreed-upon aftercare steps. > Marley also recommends following through with whatever physical or emotional aftercare you agreed on beforehand ## Key Safety Tips Never leave restrained partners alone; ensure cuffs are secure but not too tight; stop if signs of injury occur. > Don’t leave them alone. Even if everything feels fine, a restrained partner should always have someone there who can release them ## Why Beginners Should Start Simple Beginners should avoid complex positions and focus on comfort, communication, and gradual exploration of power dynamics. > For your first time, there’s no need to get particularly ambitious with positioning ## Key takeaway Beginners should use soft restraints, practice putting on and off, and check in regularly to avoid injury while experimenting with power dynamics.