# How to ask your neighbor to quiet their barking dog > A therapist and communication experts share strategies for addressing a noisy neighbor's pet without damaging the relationship. - Title: How to ask your neighbor to quiet their barking dog · TIME - Summary: A therapist and communication experts share strategies for addressing a noisy neighbor's pet without damaging the relationship. Experts advise approaching a… - Keywords: neighbor disputes, dog barking, communication, conflict resolution, cheryl groskopf, sarah gershman, kate lasala, TIME - Source: TIME — https://time.com/article/2026/11/04/neighbor-dog-barking-what-to-say - Author: Angela Haupt - Published: 2026-11-04T16:01:40.253+00:00 - Read time: 2 min - Topics: neighbor disputes, dog barking, communication, conflict resolution, cheryl groskopf, sarah gershman, kate lasala ## A therapist's barking problem Cheryl Groskopf, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, lived next door to a very loud little dog that barked for hours at a time, disrupting her work and sleep. > The tiniest little jingle of the keys would set it off. ## When avoidance becomes absurd Groskopf stopped barbecuing in her backyard, her favorite pastime, because her presence triggered the dog. She eventually realized she was adjusting her life around the neighbor's pet. > Wait, no. I should be outside. ## The breakthrough text Groskopf finally texted her neighbor to ask if everything was OK. The neighbor responded that they had no idea the barking was this bad. > Oh my God, I didn't know it was this bad. ## Choosing the right moment If you decide to speak up, pick a calm moment when you are not fired up from constant barking. Enter the conversation with an open mind about what your neighbor might not know. ## Processing before you speak Groskopf poured her unfiltered feelings, cuss words included, into her Notes app first. She waited an hour before drafting something she could actually send to her neighbor. > You're exhausted, you're frustrated, and there's 15 arguments in your head about why this person sucks. ## What to say face to face Sarah Gershman, an executive speech coach at Georgetown University and Johns Hopkins University, suggests asking if it is an OK time before launching into a complaint. > I was hoping we could talk about something that's been bothering me. I'd love to share my perspective, hear yours, and see if we can figure out a solution together. ## Give specific times and details Kate LaSala, a dog trainer and behavior consultant in New York, suggests providing exact times and durations instead of saying the dog barks all day. Details help owners connect noise to triggers. ## When your neighbor gets defensive If your neighbor says dogs bark, show you understand their perspective first. Acknowledge they are allowed to have a dog and some barking is inevitable before explaining your needs. > Of course, I completely understand that dogs bark, and I'm not expecting total silence. ## Following up when nothing changes If barking continues after your conversation, follow up without assuming they forgot or do not care. LaSala notes that behavior change takes time, especially if they are working with a trainer. > Hey, I really appreciated you talking with me about this last week. The barking is still happening around the same time, so I wanted to check in about what else we could try. ## When to escalate or move on If repeated conversations fail, bring your record of barking times to your landlord, building manager, or homeowners association. Groskopf eventually moved and reclaimed her life on her porch. > Just having that back is everything. ## Key takeaway Experts advise approaching a neighbor calmly with specific details about the barking, acknowledging their perspective, and following up if the problem persists.