# Husband's Anxiety Escalates Over STI Worries > Spouse worries husband's OCD symptoms led to STI testing after travel, fearing infidelity. - Title: Husband's Anxiety Escalates Over STI Worries · Slate Magazine - Summary: Spouse worries husband's OCD symptoms led to STI testing after travel, fearing infidelity. A wife fears her husband cheated after his anxiety caused STI… - Keywords: anxiety, ocd, stis, husband, wife, travel, mental health, trust, spouse, testing, rash, infidelity - Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/10/dear-prudence-chat-anxiety-strange-form.html?via=rss - Author: Jenée Desmond-Harris, Lizzie O’Leary - Published: 2026-10-08T16:00:00+00:00 - Read time: 1 min - Topics: anxiety, ocd, stis, husband, wife, travel, mental health, trust, spouse, testing, rash, infidelity ## Husband's Anxiety Symptoms My husband has severe anxiety and OCD focused on health issues, often misinterpreting minor symptoms as serious STIs. > Nothing can be a minor illness, it is a sign of something much more serious and sinister ## STI Testing Pattern He regularly becomes convinced of STIs from benign symptoms like a rashy dry skin patch or bruise near genitals. > He regularly (probably four times a year) becomes convinced he has an STI of some type due to relatively benign symptoms like a rashy dry skin patch or a bruise near his genitals ## Doctor's Previous Advice His doctor advised him to confirm he wouldn't have STIs through verbal reassurance, not testing. > I usually ask if he’s had sex with anyone else or thinks I have, he says no, and I say “then I don’t see how you would have an STI” and refuse to answer him on it again (original advice of his doctor/counselor when starting OCD treatment) ## Recent Testing Incident After a work trip, he tested for STIs after a rash, got negative results, and returned to normal. > About one week after travelling for work, he asked again about what was definitely an eczema patch. I answered as I usually do, but a couple days later he told me he was really worried about it and was going to contact his doctor to order blood testing for STIs ## Suspicion of Infidelity She now suspects he cheated during travel after unusual communication patterns. > Since starting his medication, he has never needed more than a verbal confirmation that he wouldn. I have never thought he would cheat on me, but he did go out with people one night, and I know they all drank quite a lot ## Wife's Concerns She feels her husband will dismiss her concerns as OCD worsening rather than addressing trust issues. > I’m worried he’s going to just explain it away as his OCD being more severe this time and needing more reassurance, but I also think this is a reasonable reaction on my part ## Expert Advice Experts suggest counseling to address trust issues and potential medication adjustments. > I am kind of stunned by the lack of trust here. And maybe that’s not fair, but it’s wild to be repeatedly asking your spouse if they have had sex with other people, even if most of that is coming from a place of mental illness ## Counseling Recommendation Counseling could help repair the relationship or guide them through divorce if needed. > I agree with you that the lack of trust is a big problem. And actually, it would be helpful for the letter writer to strip away all the mental health history and ideas about what kind of support she’s owed and how her husband will receive her concerns and focus on the core issue: She thinks her he cheated! And that he’ll lie about it! ## Next Steps The couple needs to decide whether to seek counseling or address trust issues directly. > I think some counseling is warranted. Digital snooping is so messy, and even if she finds some proof of affair, getting it that way is horrible and upsetting. And puts her on the back foot ## Final Advice Counseling is the best path forward for trust and mental health support. > Well, I’m glad there’s one reasonable and mature person in this chat. I’m not sure why I suggested the 19-year-old approach. Counseling would be great because maybe things could be repaired (I know an Esther Perel or Dr. Orna wouldn’t see it as a dealbreaker even if the cheating allegations were confirmed, maybe there’s a better relationship on the other side of this!) ## Key takeaway A wife fears her husband cheated after his anxiety caused STI testing for a rash, seeking advice on addressing trust issues.