# Kyle MacLachlan on Becoming Trey MacDougal

> Kyle MacLachlan reveals how he embraced his role as the impotent, semi-cuckold character Trey MacDougal in Sex and the City.
- Title: Kyle MacLachlan on Becoming Trey MacDougal · Vanity Fair
- Summary: Kyle MacLachlan reveals how he embraced his role as the impotent, semi-cuckold character Trey MacDougal in Sex and the City. Kyle MacLachlan played Trey…
- Keywords: kyle maclachlan, trey macdougal, sex and the city, desiree gruber, hbo, kristin davis, nfl, twin peaks, flintstones, mama's boy, impotent, semi-cuckold
- Source: Vanity Fair — https://vanityfair.com/story/kyle-maclachlan-trey-macdougal-memoir
- Author: Kyle MacLachlan
- Published: 2026-09-29T13:47:29.797+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: kyle maclachlan, trey macdougal, sex and the city, desiree gruber, hbo, kristin davis, nfl, twin peaks, flintstones, mama's boy, impotent, semi-cuckold
## Kyle's early failures
Kyle admits his failures shape his wisdom.

> I’ve learned over the years to own my failures, not that I have much of a choice
## The back pain meeting
Kyle meets Desiree at a chiropractor while back pain worsens.

> Sitting in my traction chair, I see a woman walk past the door of the room: tall, with long dark hair
## First date with Desiree
Kyle takes Desiree to the Apple Pan for burgers.

> I love burgers. Then that’s where I’m taking you on our first date
## Sex and the City pitch
Kyle meets with HBO showrunners for Sex and the City.

> You’re doing it. You have to.
## Trey's impotence
Trey is impotent and bathes with his mother.

> He’s impotent. He can’t get it up. He takes baths with his mother.
## Kyle's internal conflict
Kyle struggles with Trey's unrealistic behavior.

> He’s already cast. Jesus, Kyle. You’re the only actor who’d join a show about sex and not have any
## Marriage decision
Kyle and Desiree decide to marry.

> Let’s get married
## Trey's cardboard baby
Trey gives Charlotte a cardboard baby to cope with infertility.

> Trey, in an attempt to assuage Charlotte’s pain over not being able to conceive, gives her a cardboard baby
## Trey's exit
Trey leaves Sex and the City with dignity.

> Trey exits the series with some dignity, showing up for Charlotte by pretending their marriage is in working order
## Parasocial connection
Fans see Kyle as Trey, not himself.

> Some fans identify me only as trey: That’s who I’ll always be
## Twin Peaks contrast
Kyle compares TV acting to film in Twin Peaks.

> You’re inside people’s homes, the same time every week, so you’re part of their routine
## The Flintstones reference
Kyle jokes about playing in the Flintstones.

> I was in the flintstones, for chrissake
## Kyle's Scottish wedding
Kyle wears a kilt for Trey and Charlotte’s wedding.

> I wear a kilt and sporran; there’s haggis and prickly thistles
## Trey's marital struggle
Trey and Charlotte struggle to hold their marriage together.

> Trey and Charlotte are struggling to hold on to their marriage
## Kyle's final choice
Kyle chooses to marry Desiree despite inner conflict.

> Let’s get married, and it feels good to do so
## The aftermath
Kyle reflects on his role as Trey MacDougal.

> It’s fascinating to me how personally people take sex and the city
## Key takeaway

Kyle MacLachlan played Trey MacDougal, an impotent and semi-cuckold character on Sex and the City, after meeting Desiree Gruber.