# Lizzie Borden's Girlfriend: The Actress Who Broke Her Heart > The strange, short friendship between America's most infamous accused killer and a struggling stage star who may have been much more. - Title: Lizzie Borden's Girlfriend: The Actress Who Broke Her Heart - Summary: The strange, short friendship between America's most infamous accused killer and a struggling stage star who may have been much more. Lizzie Borden's intense… - Keywords: lizzie borden, nance o'neil, fall river, boston, theater, gilded age, emma borden, maplecroft, ryan murphy, monster, netflix, lgbtq history - Source: Vanity Fair — https://vanityfair.com/story/lizzie-borden-nance-o-neil-girlfriend - Author: Rosemary Counter - Published: 2026-09-17T15:46:40.669+00:00 - Read time: 3 min - Topics: lizzie borden, nance o'neil, fall river, boston, theater, gilded age, emma borden, maplecroft, ryan murphy, monster, netflix, lgbtq history ## Where Lizzie first saw Nance Lizzie Borden likely spotted actress Nance O'Neil in a 1904 Boston production of Magda, not Macbeth as local lore claims. ## Boston's new tragic sensation The Boston Globe gushed about O'Neil's magnetic eyes and flowing blond hair. The 29-year-old became a sensation that captivated the acquitted murderer. > eyes that are sympathetic and gentle and powerful and, oh so wonderfully magnetic! ## Ryan Murphy's creative liberties Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story imagines their meeting a dozen years earlier than it happened, before the murders even occurred. ## Nance's long chase for fame Born Gertrude Lamson in 1874, O'Neil defied her religious father to crash a San Francisco rehearsal as a teenager and land her first role. ## Fame was always precarious O'Neil was undeniably beautiful but questionably talented. After bombing in London, her 1904 Boston success marked a welcome career upswing. > Nance had a promising new New York premiere, then went off on a world tour, but she actually bombed in London ## A note and a bouquet The lonely Borden sent O'Neil a note expressing her high regard and asking permission to call on her. She included flowers, like a fan or suitor might. ## Did Nance know who Lizzie was O'Neil claimed she didn't know about the murders until after their friendship began. Historians don't believe that for a second. > I don't think that's even possible. Nance was a smart lady. ## An unlikely friendship blooms The gorgeous and famous 29-year-old O'Neil liked frumpy and infamous almost-44-year-old Borden enough to strike up a close friendship. ## For my dear Lizbeth with love O'Neil stayed at Borden's mansion when ill. In June, she gifted Borden an expensive poetry book dedicated to "my dear Lizbeth" from "Daphne." > for my dear Lizbeth with love from Daphne. ## Were they lovers or just friends Whether they were romantic or sexual depends on who you ask. What matters is that people thought they were lesbians. > Whether they were or weren't lesbians, what's important is that people thought they were. ## Loud, boozy parties for days Borden threw lavish parties for O'Neil's theater troupe with orchestras, caterers, and hired palm trees. Some borrowed money and never repaid her. ## Emma leaves Lizzie forever Sister Emma wasn't a fan of the parties. After confiding in a Reverend, she packed her belongings in June 1905 and moved away forever. ## Newspapers blamed Nance O'Neil Headlines speculated the sisters were estranged over O'Neil. But the sisterly problems were obviously more long-term than that. > Sisters estranged over Nance O'Neil ## Nance declares bankruptcy and leaves By 1906, O'Neil was getting bad reviews and running out of money. She declared bankruptcy in May and left for Paris. ## No fight, just abandonment There was no falling out. O'Neil simply got tired of Lizzie, got all she could from her, and moved on without looking back. > I don't think there was a fight or a falling out, just that she got tired of Lizzie and had got all she could from her and moved on. ## Nance rewrites their history After Borden's death, O'Neil downplayed their friendship to the press. She described Lizzie as utterly lonely and claimed the murders were never mentioned. > seemed utterly lonely ## The last laugh belongs to Lizzie O'Neil would be completely forgotten had she not intersected with Borden. If eternal fame was her goal, then Lizzie got the last laugh. > Nance O'Neil is someone we probably all would have completely forgotten about had she not briefly intersected with Lizzie Borden ## Key takeaway Lizzie Borden's intense friendship with actress Nance O'Neil led to family estrangement and heartbreak when O'Neil abandoned her.