# Rubber Band Theory Explains Distant Boyfriend

> Why your boyfriend pulls away and returns, the rubber band theory.
- Title: Rubber Band Theory Explains Distant Boyfriend · vice
- Summary: Why your boyfriend pulls away and returns, the rubber band theory. Men may pull back from partners to maintain independence, not disinterest, according to…
- Keywords: rubber band theory, boyfriend, distant, relationship, men, harvard trained clinical psychologist, sabrina romanoff, hily dating app, news, culture, Rubber, Band
- Source: vice — https://vice.com/en/article/the-rubber-band-theory-could-explain-why-your-boyfriend-is-being-so-distant
- Author: Sammi Caramela
- Published: 2026-10-19T14:45:54+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: rubber band theory, boyfriend, distant, relationship, men, harvard trained clinical psychologist, sabrina romanoff, hily dating app, news, culture
## Rubber Band Theory Origin
The rubber band theory compares men to a rubber band in dating, alternating between closeness and space.
## John Gray's 1992 Book
John Gray coined the theory in his 1992 bestselling book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
## Dr. Romanoff's Expertise
Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist and relationship expert at Hily Dating App, explains the theory.
## Why Men Pull Away
Men may pull back to maintain independence, not disinterest, as closeness can feel threatening.
## Emotional Whiplash Risk
This push-and-pull pattern causes emotional whiplash while building a connection.
## What Happens Next
Give them time to return, bank the pattern as information, and avoid impulsive reactions.
## Key takeaway

Men may pull back from partners to maintain independence, not disinterest, according to relationship expert Dr. Sabrina Romanoff.