# Sex Advice: From Husbands to Blowing Jobs

> A woman shares how her husband’s confidence in sex transformed her from silent to active participant after eight years of marriage.
- Title: Sex Advice: From Husbands to Blowing Jobs · Slate Magazine
- Summary: A woman shares how her husband’s confidence in sex transformed her from silent to active participant after eight years of marriage. After eight years of…
- Keywords: marriage, sex, husband, oral sex, confidence, intimacy, relationship, marriage advice, Advice, Husbands, Blowing, Jobs
- Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/10/sex-advice-husband-oral-confidence.html?via=rss
- Author: Jessica Stoya
- Published: 2026-10-09T16:00:00+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: marriage, sex, husband, oral sex, confidence, intimacy, relationship, marriage advice
## Eight years of silence
After eight years of marriage, I still hadn’t sucked my husband’s dick.

> I have, however, been moving my body, generally engaging, and opening my eyes a whole lot more.
## Husband’s confidence
My husband’s confidence in sex helped me feel less awkward and more present.

> I finally feel like an active participant.
## First steps
Starting small with a lick or glance helped me build confidence without pressure.

> Jessica’s encouragement to start small and wherever I saw fit, a lick here, a glance there, helped me.
## Active participation
Now I talk and move during sex, a change I didn’t expect after eight years.

> After eight years, I have to say I did not see that coming!
## Thank you
Thanking Jessica for her advice helped me feel less like a freak and more in control.

> Writing in made me feel like less of a freak, and showed me a path toward feeling more in control.
## Marriage update
We are now married with a good sex life and no oral sex history.

> We are now married (yay!), we have a very good sex life (cool!), and I still ain’t sucked that man’s dick (super fine!).
## Confidence gained
I now feel proud of my progress instead of frustrated for no good reason.

> Now I get to be proud of myself instead of being frustrated and disappointed for no good reason.
## Active participant
I am now an active participant in my marital bedroom, a change I didn’t expect.

> I finally feel like an active participant.
## Thank you
Thank you for your advice, which helped me feel more in control of my behavior.

> This brings me to…
## Key takeaway

After eight years of marriage, a woman who previously avoided oral sex now actively engages during intimacy thanks to her husband’s confidence.