# Soft swinging: spicing up without full swapping

> Couples are exploring a tamer version of partner swapping that lets them add excitement while keeping strict boundaries.
- Title: Soft swinging: spicing up without full swapping · Psychologies
- Summary: Couples are exploring a tamer version of partner swapping that lets them add excitement while keeping strict boundaries. Soft swinging works only when both…
- Keywords: soft swinging, couple sexuality, non-monogamy, mormon community, taylor frankie paul, relationship boundaries, sexual exploration, consensual non-monogamy, momtok, relationship communication, Soft, swinging
- Source: Psychologies — https://psychologies.com/couple/sexualite-couple/Ils-veulent-pimenter-leur-couple-sans-aller-jusqua-lechangisme-voici-le-soft-swinging-610151
- Author: Louise Leboyer
- Published: 2026-09-18T21:04:45+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: soft swinging, couple sexuality, non-monogamy, mormon community, taylor frankie paul, relationship boundaries, sexual exploration, consensual non-monogamy, momtok, relationship communication
## What soft swinging actually is
Soft swinging is partner swapping without penetration. Kissing, oral sex, and manual stimulation are allowed, but each couple sets their own rules.

> The soft swinging, it's doing other things without going all the way.
## Why Mormon couples started doing it
Young Mormon couples marry early in strict communities where adultery is condemned. Soft swinging offered a way to explore sexuality without breaking religious rules.
## The appeal for adventurous couples
Sexologist Carolanne Marcantonio says soft swinging lets couples explore natural curiosities with others while keeping their primary relationship intact and secure.

> You can explore these natural curiosities with others, then reconnect with each other, still on solid and safe ground.
## When boundaries break down
In the Mormon scandal, one partner developed feelings for someone outside the arrangement. The agreement only worked when both partners were present and aware.

> The agreement was, as long as we were both present and saw it and knew it, it was fine.
## The real work is talking
Therapist Jillian Amodio says couples must define what intimacy, sex, and infidelity mean to each of them. If definitions differ, problems emerge.

> If your definition differs from your partner's, that's where the problems arise.
## Keep the conversation going
Therapists encourage honest and regular check-ins to track how the arrangement is evolving and whether both partners still feel comfortable.
## Key takeaway

Soft swinging works only when both partners share the same definitions of intimacy, sex, and infidelity, and keep talking about it.