# Teaching boys to speak up, not just consent

> A mother argues the Cornell assault case shows we need to teach young men courage to intervene, not just knowledge of consent.
- Title: Teaching boys to speak up, not just consent · TIME | Shortify
- Summary: A mother argues the Cornell assault case shows we need to teach young men courage to intervene, not just knowledge of consent. Parents must teach sons to act…
- Keywords: cornell, sexual assault, consent education, masculinity, parenting, bravery, intervention, Teaching, boys, speak, just, consent
- Source: TIME — https://time.com/article/2026/10/07/what-the-cornell-7-case-reveals-about-consent-and-bravery
- Author: Reshma Saujani
- Published: 2026-10-07T18:31:42.192+00:00
- Read time: 2 min
- Topics: cornell, sexual assault, consent education, masculinity, parenting, bravery, intervention
## The assault and the silence
Seven young men allegedly assaulted a woman at a Cornell fraternity in two thousand twenty-four. More than fifty other fraternity members reportedly received messages inviting them to join, with replies growing more depraved as the night went on.
## Consent education is not enough
The national conversation has focused on teaching consent earlier and better. But the author argues this misses the point: any man committing sexual assault in two thousand twenty-six almost certainly knows what consent means and has simply decided it does not apply to him.
## The real question for parents
The author says most parents have taught their sons about consent. The real question is whether they know how to be brave. Knowing about consent is one thing; living by it is another.

> Knowing about consent is one thing, living by it is another.
## We taught them the wrong bravery
Young boys are taught that courage means physical risk: run faster, jump further, climb higher. The manosphere sells strength as brute force. Neither leaves boys with a script for using their voice when it matters most.
## What real bravery looks like
Bravery is saying the thing that will cost a friendship. It can feel like rejection and sometimes sounds like tattling. There is no dramatic music, nobody claps, and you may question if the right thing was the wrong choice.

> Bravery is saying the thing that will cost a friendship.
## Parents must model courage
Mothers who are survivors of sexual assault should tell their sons their stories. Fathers should share times they laughed at something wrong or stayed quiet when a friend crossed a line, and what they wish they had done differently.
## Practice speaking up at home
Parents should ask their sons what they would type in a group chat like the one at Cornell and who they would call. Tell them you know they are capable of being brave and that you would rather they lose their friends than their character.

> Tell him you would rather he lose his friends than his character.
## The example of student journalists
Student journalists at The Cornell Daily Sun, including senior Cereese Qusba who spent twenty-three months on her investigation, showed what bravery looks like by asking hard questions of their own university, knowing the right path was the hard path.
## Key takeaway

Parents must teach sons to act against harm, not merely understand consent, after more than fifty fraternity members reportedly received messages about an assault at Cornell in two thousand twenty-four.