# The depression symptom therapists see almost only in men

> Seven therapists reveal the telltale sign of male depression that often gets mistaken for something else entirely.
- Title: The depression symptom therapists see almost only in men
- Summary: Seven therapists reveal the telltale sign of male depression that often gets mistaken for something else entirely. Men with depression often don't look sad…
- Keywords: depression, men's mental health, male depression, therapists, mental health stigma, escapism, anger, irritability, diagnosis, masculinity, therapy, mental health treatment
- Source: Men's Health — https://menshealth.com/health/a71574703/unique-signs-of-depression-in-men-therapists
- Author: Jocelyn Solis-Moreira
- Published: 2026-09-16T15:08:27+00:00
- Read time: 2 min
- Topics: depression, men's mental health, male depression, therapists, mental health stigma, escapism, anger, irritability, diagnosis, masculinity, therapy, mental health treatment
## Men avoid treatment for depression
One in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, but only half ever get treatment. The stigma of talking about mental health still holds strong.
## Trained to believe we're strong
Men are taught that depression isn't part of their experience. If they were tough enough, they wouldn't feel this way.

> We've all been trained to believe that we have to be strong and that depression is not part of our experience.
## Men show different symptoms
While men and women share some depressive symptoms like fatigue, men tend to exhibit certain behaviors more often.
## Depression gets acted out
Men with depression often don't look sad. They show anger, irritability, increased drinking, or engage in high-adrenaline behaviors instead.
## Escapism is the telltale sign
Men use harmless activities like video games, sports, or hobbies to excess. These become ways to avoid confronting emotional pain.

> Rather than being enjoyed in themselves, these behaviors become ways for men to avoid confronting their emotional pain.
## Men double down on activities
Instead of giving up preferred activities, men are more likely to double down on things they think will make them feel better.
## Even productivity can be hiding
Working long hours at the office or gym can function as a hiding place. Staying busy enough not to notice feelings is real.

> I see less 'escaping feelings' and more 'staying busy enough not to notice them.'
## Diagnosed at half the rate
Men are diagnosed with depression at half the rate of women. Stigma, masculinity norms, and limited screening tools all play a role.
## Screening tools miss male symptoms
Many tools are less likely to identify depression in men, especially when they show irritability or escapism instead of sadness.
## Men don't self-refer to therapy
Most men in therapy have been given ultimatums in marriages or have work issues. They say they're exhausted, not depressed.

> Men don't come in saying 'I'm depressed.' They say 'I'm exhausted,' 'I have no patience,' 'I don't enjoy anything anymore.'
## How to approach a struggling man
Use observation without confrontation. Say things like 'You don't seem like yourself' or 'I noticed you stopped going to your golf game.'
## Side-by-side conversations work best
Going for a walk or doing an activity together helps men open up more than an intervention-style sit-down conversation.
## Key takeaway

Men with depression often don't look sad, they show anger, irritability, and escapism behaviors instead of traditional sadness.