# To become the mother I wanted to be

> A mother's journey to self-discovery after letting go of her parents.
- Title: To become the mother I wanted to be · Salon | Shortify
- Summary: A mother's journey to self-discovery after letting go of her parents. Kristen Millares Young found healing by accepting estrangement from her parents to…
- Keywords: kristen millares young, desire lines, motherhood, mount st helens, hummocks, seattle, parental estrangement, self-discovery, narrative healing, ecosystems, news, politics
- Source: Salon — https://salon.com/2026/10/13/to-become-the-mother-i-wanted-to-be-i-had-to-let-my-parents-go
- Author: Kristen Millares Young
- Published: 2026-10-13T16:00:26+00:00
- Read time: 2 min
- Topics: kristen millares young, desire lines, motherhood, mount st helens, hummocks, seattle, parental estrangement, self-discovery, narrative healing, ecosystems, news, politics
## Camp with kids
To camp with kids makes me question my sanity. I crush tasks.
## Spirit Lake Highway
On the drive along Spirit Lake Highway to Mount St. Helens, the houses are few and well-priced.
## Mount St. Helens Eruption
Mount St. Helens collapsed in three separate blocks, the first of which hurtled toward where we are hiking.
## Fireweed and Hope
Fireweed poked its green head through the ash, sending purple flowers skyward by July of 1.980.
## The Hummocks
Hummocks are pieces of the mountain blown off by the eruption and carried downhill by a landslide.
## Ecosystems on Hummocks
Beneath the alders, bushy green horsetails wave in the unaccustomed sun.
## Ponds and Life
The ponds are unstable and evaporate quickly. To survive their home, the creatures must reproduce early and often.
## Parental Estrangement
My parents are unable to reconcile our facts. They prefer façades.
## Self-Discovery
To heal from my origin so that I could become myself and a mother, I have accepted estrangement as necessary.
## The Path Forward
I have relinquished the belief that my happiness depends on our unity. They don’t have to show kindness for me to heal.
## The Journey
Our journey was never meant to be linear. Find the whole in the fragments.
## Night at Camp
Dusk cloaks the grove around our tents. A cinder cone rebuilds herself on a horizon i cannot see.
## Family Rituals
Evenings are ceremonial for parents. We feed our children and tell stories.
## The Takeaway
Forging a desire line can be dangerous. So is failing to follow your hope.
## The Future
May they know greener times.
## The End
With our communion comes responsibility for what happens next.
## Key takeaway

Kristen Millares Young found healing by accepting estrangement from her parents to become the mother she wanted to be.