# Wanting to blow up your life

> The urge to sell everything and move to the mountains usually points at years of living to someone else's spec.
- Title: Wanting to blow up your life · Psychologies | Shortify
- Summary: The urge to sell everything and move to the mountains usually points at years of living to someone else's spec. Before you burn your life down, ask whether…
- Keywords: psychology, burnout, self-knowledge, motivation, regret, Wanting, blow, life, Psychologies
- Source: Psychologies — https://psychologies.com/moi/se-connaitre/bonheur/Les-personnes-qui-revent-parfois-de-tout-quitter-pour-recommencer-leur-vie-ont-souvent-passe-des-annees-a-faire-passer-les-attentes-des-autres-avant-les-leurs-639281
- Author: Ava Skoupsky
- Published: 2026-09-13T07:02:58+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: psychology, burnout, self-knowledge, motivation, regret
## The goat farm fantasy
Raising goats in the mountains, moving abroad, starting over somewhere nobody knows you. Almost everyone has had the thought at least once.

> Envie de tout quitter et de changer de vie ?
## You put everyone else first
Psychology links the fantasy to years of treating other people's expectations as the priority. You forget yourself by degrees, and frustration builds until the urge to leave feels urgent.
## Goals that aren't yours
A 2019 study found people can spend years chasing goals that don't fit them, simply because they believe they are supposed to want them.
## Intrinsic beats extrinsic
Researchers split goals in two: intrinsic ones you pursue because they mean something to you, and extrinsic ones chased for money, status or approval. The intrinsic crowd is happier.
## Regret drags well-being down
A 2024 study found bigger life regrets track with lower life satisfaction and more depressive symptoms. Wanting to escape is partly a move to avoid that ending.

> Le fait d'éprouver des regrets plus importants dans sa vie est associé à des effets négatifs sur divers aspects du bien-être
## Ask one question
Practise mindfulness, name your emotions, take real pauses. Then separate a passing want from a deep need by asking: am I doing this because I want to, or to meet social codes?

> Est-ce que je fais cela par envie profonde ou bien pour répondre à des attentes ou des codes sociaux ?
## Key takeaway

Before you burn your life down, ask whether each goal is yours or something you inherited from other people's expectations.