# When a caregiver's behavior turns suspicious

> A sister worries her brother-in-law is draining accounts to avoid nursing home costs for their ailing sibling.
- Title: When a caregiver's behavior turns suspicious · Slate Magazine
- Summary: A sister worries her brother-in-law is draining accounts to avoid nursing home costs for their ailing sibling. Consult an elder law attorney and document all…
- Keywords: alzheimer's disease, elder care, financial abuse, power of attorney, caregiver, nursing home, medicaid, bank accounts, family conflict, elder law, caregiver's, behavior
- Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/09/money-advice-shady-brother-in-law.html?via=rss
- Author: Athena Valentine, Elizabeth Spiers
- Published: 2026-09-18T10:00:00+00:00
- Read time: 2 min
- Topics: alzheimer's disease, elder care, financial abuse, power of attorney, caregiver, nursing home, medicaid, bank accounts, family conflict, elder law
## Sister with Alzheimer's needs care
The letter writer's sister has advanced Alzheimer's and no longer speaks. Her husband is her full-time caregiver and has been managing her care at home.
## Financial access granted for emergencies
The brother-in-law gave the letter writer authorization to both their bank accounts and suggested she get power of attorney over the sister, in case something happened to him.
## Sister's modest financial situation
The sister has about ten thousand dollars in savings and the couple owns an apartment next to their home. They are not wealthy.
## Caregiver's attitude suddenly shifts
The brother-in-law had been doing a fair job caring for the sister, but his behavior has recently changed in concerning ways.
## Large cash withdrawals begin
Each month since January, he withdraws his Social Security benefits and pension immediately, spending only on cigarettes and gas, then withdrawing any remaining money.
## Draining sister's savings account
He has started withdrawing from the sister's small savings account. When questioned about the cash withdrawals, he becomes upset.
## Hints about nursing home placement
He recently told another brother-in-law that he wants to be free and hinted he wants the sister moved into a nursing home.
## The suspected motive emerges
Friends have told him that if there's money in their accounts and assets, he'll have to pay for nursing home care monthly. This may explain the sudden withdrawals.
## Caregiver burnout is real
Caring for someone with a degenerative condition like Alzheimer's is exhausting. The brother-in-law may need more support than he anticipated.
## Nursing homes require financial planning
Nursing homes are expensive, but Medicaid covers long-term costs. However, eligibility is complex and may require surrendering money in the sister's bank account first.
## Medicaid rules vary by state
The rules for Medicaid eligibility and asset requirements differ depending on your state, making it essential to research your specific location's requirements.
## Contact your state's aging department
Call or visit your state's department of aging to learn about different qualifications and restrictions for elder care and Medicaid coverage.
## Consult an elder law attorney
An attorney specializing in elder law can explain your rights regarding power of attorney and what steps you can take to ensure your sister gets proper care.
## Document everything carefully
Keep detailed records of all interactions with your brother-in-law and print bank statements in case he removes your user authorization from the accounts.
## Protect your sister's interests
By gathering evidence, consulting professionals, and understanding the legal landscape, you can take concrete steps to safeguard your sister's welfare and remaining assets.
## Key takeaway

Consult an elder law attorney and document all financial activity when you suspect a caregiver is misusing a vulnerable person's money.