# When your daughter won't control her dangerous dog

> A father's blunt warning about loose dogs in farm country backfires with his stubborn daughter.
- Title: When your daughter won't control her dangerous dog | Shortify
- Summary: A father's blunt warning about loose dogs in farm country backfires with his stubborn daughter. You can't control someone else's responsibility, even when…
- Keywords: dear prudence, slate, advice column, family conflict, dog ownership, rural living, parenting adult children, pet safety, boundary setting, family relationships, daughter, won't
- Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/09/family-advice-neighbors-dogs-warnings.html?via=rss
- Author: Jenée Desmond-Harris
- Published: 2026-09-16T10:00:00+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: dear prudence, slate, advice column, family conflict, dog ownership, rural living, parenting adult children, pet safety, boundary setting, family relationships
## Rural retirement with a problem
Retired couple lives in farm country where loose dogs get shot by farmers or sheriffs. Their daughter's collie mix bolts through open doors.
## The dog has a history
The collie attacked an elderly cat and bit the daughter-in-law when she intervened. The daughter is now banned from her brother's home.

> She is banned from her brother's home after the dog went after their elderly cat and nipped our daughter-in-law when she tried to drag it away.
## Warnings fall on deaf ears
The daughter ignores repeated warnings to control her dog. She refuses to use sitters or kennels and won't train the reactive animal.

> Our daughter wanted to visit but kept ignoring her mother and me telling her to keep the dog away.
## Father loses his patience
The dad bluntly told his daughter if the dog gets shot, she shouldn't cry because it's her fault. She canceled her visit.

> I finally had enough and bluntly told her that if the dog got out and was shot, she'd better not cry because she would have no one to blame.
## Wife says he went too far
The mother thinks they should have been gentler. The father feels nothing else has worked with their stubborn daughter.
## Prudie calls out the approach
The columnist says the father seems disgusted by his daughter and lashed out to scare her. It didn't work, only alienated her.

> It also seems to me that you couldn't wait to lash out at her in a way you imagined might scare her into changing her ways. It didn't work.
## Focus on what you control
You're responsible for your home's safety and your relationship. Your daughter is responsible for her dog, even if she's failing at it.

> Your daughter is responsible for her dog's relationship with the rest of the world. Even if she's doing an awful job with that responsibility, it's hers.
## The path forward
Apologize for overstepping, set clear rules for dogs at your house, then invite her back. Stop trying to control her choices.
## Key takeaway

You can't control someone else's responsibility, even when you're frustrated. Set clear boundaries for your home instead of trying to scare them into change.