# Why 'stop crying' damages kids into adulthood

> Telling children to stop crying teaches them to suppress emotions, creating lasting emotional struggles.
- Title: Why 'stop crying' damages kids into adulthood · Psychologies
- Summary: Telling children to stop crying teaches them to suppress emotions, creating lasting emotional struggles. Validating children's tears builds emotional…
- Keywords: parenting, childhood development, emotional intelligence, crying, mental health, amy morin, kelsey mora, mona delahooke, emotional suppression, self-esteem, vulnerability, 'stop
- Source: Psychologies — https://psychologies.com/famille/etre-parent/Les-enfants-a-qui-lon-disait-souvent-arrete-de-pleurer-gardent-souvent-ce-reflexe-emotionnel-une-fois-adultes-640447
- Author: Louise Leboyer
- Published: 2026-09-16T14:09:31+00:00
- Read time: 1 min
- Topics: parenting, childhood development, emotional intelligence, crying, mental health, amy morin, kelsey mora, mona delahooke, emotional suppression, self-esteem, vulnerability
## Stop crying does lasting harm
When parents tell kids to stop crying, it seems harmless. But this simple phrase has a much bigger emotional impact than most realize.
## It doesn't work anyway
Even adults rarely stop crying when told to. For children, the phrase is not just ineffective but actively harmful, according to psychologists.
## Kids learn emotions are wrong
Telling children to stop crying signals their feelings are inappropriate. Praising them for not crying teaches that sadness itself is bad.

> Beaucoup de parents croient à tort que le manque d'émotions est un signe de force
## They close off emotionally
Kids don't become stronger or less sensitive. Instead, they learn to ignore their feelings and withdraw, a reflex that follows them into adulthood.
## Crying is a stress response
Tears are a fight-or-flight reaction to distress, an involuntary response to stress. Ignoring them doesn't build strength, but validation can.

> Les pleurs, tout comme les cris, les hurlements ou les crises de colère, sont une réaction de "lutte ou de fuite"
## Five phrases that actually help
Say: You can cry, I'm here. I see your tears. Your feelings make sense. Sadness is natural. Crying is a healthy way to express emotions.
## Key takeaway

Validating children's tears builds emotional strength; suppressing them creates adults who struggle to be vulnerable.