# Your neighbor's grill is legal. Prudie says learn to live with it

> A vegan asked her neighbor to move his grill twice, he started cooking more, and Prudie sides with the barbecue.
- Title: Your neighbor's grill is legal. Prudie says learn to live…
- Summary: A vegan asked her neighbor to move his grill twice, he started cooking more, and Prudie sides with the barbecue. Being allowed to do something is not the…
- Keywords: neighbors, advice, vegan, boundaries, etiquette, neighbor's, grill, legal, Prudie, learn, live, Slate Magazine
- Source: Slate Magazine — https://slate.com/advice/2026/09/neighbor-advice-grilling-smells-complaints.html?via=rss
- Author: Jenée Desmond-Harris
- Published: 2026-09-15T10:00:00+00:00
- Read time: 3 min
- Topics: neighbors, advice, vegan, boundaries, etiquette
## Grill smoke, straight indoors
She has been vegan three years and is not an activist. But the houses sit close, and when her neighbor David grills meat, the smell pours into her home and sometimes makes her feel sick.
## The first polite ask
Months ago she asked him to move the grill farther from their shared fence. He said he would see what he could do. He did not.
## Round two, with reasons
The next weekend she explained she is vegan and that meat smell is especially hard for her. Could he cook on the other side of the yard? No, he said, that is where his patio is.
## Then he grilled more
She let it go as a weekly annoyance. Instead of fading, it doubled. He now fires up the grill at least twice a week.
## It started to feel personal
He knows she is vegan. He knows it bothers her. That is what gets to her, even though she cannot imagine why he would care enough to do it on purpose.

> At this point, it feels deliberate
## Her husband picks the grill
He thinks she is overreacting and that a man can cook whatever he wants on his own property. She accepts the technicality and still thinks permission has limits.
## She looked up the code
Local rules ban certain smells, and she found language she thinks might cover barbecue smoke. She does not want a lawsuit, just relief.

> disagreeable or obnoxious odors and stenches
## The line she keeps hitting
Her whole case comes down to one feeling: she should not have to shut herself indoors on a weekend because of what is happening one yard over.

> I shouldn't have to hide inside my house every time my neighbor incinerates the carcass of a dead animal in his backyard.
## Prudie turns it around
Yes, it would be kind of David to stop. But if everyone must put other people's feelings first, she would also owe David his favorite food and stop asking.
## Two to four hours a week
Prudie names the actual cost of the problem, then delivers the verdict. Staying inside for a couple of hours on a weekend is something to absorb, not litigate.
## Court is a long shot
A cooking rib probably does not qualify as an obnoxious stench. See a lawyer if she wants, but Prudie would not bet on a judge agreeing.

> I wouldn't put too much stock in a court siding with you on this one.
## Ask for his schedule
The most neighborly move: ask David for his rough grilling plan each week, then book errands and outings for those windows.
## Simmer pot over lawsuit
Come home and simmer rosemary, vanilla extract, and lemon to push out the lingering smoke. Just do not walk away and let the pot burn, which is a genuine stench.
## The house nobody sells
Second letter: a husband inherited his late best friend's house, worth $905,000, with a pool. Eighteen months on he keeps paying the bills and will not list it.

> How do I motivate him to sell?
## Find the real roadblock
Prudie says ask first. Grief, busyness, or a task too big to start all look the same from outside. Once he confirms he wants to sell, line up three realtors and sit in the meetings with him.
## Question your own cannots
Third letter: a new apartment with nightly noise from two couples. Prudie tests each impossible item, lightweight earplugs, pink noise, a cheaper room, remote work, and a polite note under the door.

> Look at this list and ask yourself if it's possible that any of these statements are untrue.
## Key takeaway

Being allowed to do something is not the same as being considerate, but a smell you dislike for two hours a week is not a case, it is a scheduling problem.