From Eater · Hilary Pollack · · 2m
Just bring the filtered tap
An Eater editor argues the "still or sparkling?" opener turns the most basic thing on the table into an upsell.
In brief
An Eater editor argues the "still or sparkling?" opener turns the most basic thing on the table into an upsell. Water should not be the first thing you have to buy at dinner. Pour filtered tap by default and put the bottles on the menu like any other drink. Originally reported by Eater.
The dreaded opening question
You sit down, the server appears, and before you have touched the menu you get: still or sparkling? Or filtered tap? The meal starts with a sales pitch.
“Filtered tap. Please, just bring filtered tap.”
Almost everyone wants tap
Ninety-nine percent of the time the table wants filtered tap. Nobody needs to commit to $11 Evian that goes room temperature fast and, in most big cities, tastes worse than the tap.
It's the framing that stings
Asking it that way makes tap sound like the shabby option, as if you asked the server to fill your glass from a hose out back. You end up saying "tap is fine" with a small apology in your voice.
“like I've asked the server to go out back and fill our glasses with a hose in the alley”
Hospitality, meet the upsell
A restaurant has a whole menu to sell you. The first sip of water is a strange place to start the transaction, especially before you have settled into your chair.
“surely the first sip of water can remain outside the machinery of the upsell”
Big Sparkling Water's grip
Seltzer mania is everywhere, right down to the colleague who drank a case of La Croix a day. The fizz itself is harmless enough. The fervor around it is the irritating part.
“I see the squeeze of its fizzy grip”
The roommate and the rats
A former roommate drank only Smartwater, convinced it beat tap on taste and nutrition. Their plastic bottles filled the bin, nobody wanted to face the dumpster rats, and it poisoned the apartment.
American tap is mostly fine
New York's water is famously excellent. Los Angeles can be unpleasant straight from the faucet, though it won flavor awards decades ago. Either way, that is what a filter is for.
“In New York City, it's basically the nectar of the gods”
A simple fix
Bring filtered tap with ice by default, or put a carafe on the table and pour. Where water is scarce, just ask if anyone wants water. List sparkling and mineral on the menu with prices.
“let us begin our evening without making hydration our first purchasing decision”
Nobody loses the Pellegrino
Seltzer fans can order it like any other drink. Everyone else gets clean, cold water without the flinch. Modern plumbing is a wonder, so stop treating it like the cheap seats.
“Free us from the water upsell.”
In short
Water should not be the first thing you have to buy at dinner. Pour filtered tap by default and put the bottles on the menu like any other drink.
