From Psychologies · Bokhobza Olivia · · 50s
3 signs your child's crises aren't just their fault
Parents often blame their child's behavior, but three signs show the real problem is their own exhaustion.
In brief
Parents often blame their child's behavior, but three signs show the real problem is their own exhaustion. Parents who feel overwhelmed by their child's crises should check their own emotional state and family dynamics before blaming the child. Originally reported by Psychologies.
You react before the crisis starts
Parents feel overwhelmed by their child's outbursts.
“Cris, pleurs, portes qui claquent, négociations sans fin”
You forget parents and children are part of the same team
Parents see their child as an opponent, not a teammate.
“Ce n'est pas un terrain où les parents et les enfants jouent dans des équipes adverses”
You take the crisis personally
Parents blame themselves for their child's behavior.
“Je ne suis pas un bon parent, je suis nul je n'arrive pas à éduquer”
The emotional sponge principle
Parents' stress worsens their child's behavior.
“Avant de vouloir éduquer, commençons par réaliser que nos conflits permanents troublent profondément le comportement de l'enfant”
Family as a team
Parents should act as coaches, not authority figures.
“En comprenant qu'il ne s'agit plus d'exercer une autorité linéaire”
What happens next
Parents can reduce crises by addressing their own stress.
“Observer ses propres réactions, identifier les contextes déclencheurs”
Here's the gist
Parents who feel overwhelmed by their child's crises should check their own emotional state and family dynamics before blaming the child.
