From Psychologies · Nina Parage · · 1m
Being the Reasonable Brother Changes Relationships Today
How growing up as the family's 'reasonable' one affects adult relationships.
In brief
How growing up as the family's 'reasonable' one affects adult relationships. Children who took on adult responsibilities as kids face higher anxiety and depression in adulthood, but learning to ask for help reduces relationship strain. Originally reported by Psychologies.
The Reasonable Child Role
You were the one who comforted parents and calmed family fights, never causing problems.
“Vous étiez celle qui consolait maman, celui qui calmait les disputes, l'enfant qui "n'avait jamais posé de problème".”
Parentification's Adult Effects
Research shows a weak but reliable link between childhood parentification and adult psychological issues.
“Dans une méta-analyse de 2011, la psychologue Lisa Hooper et son équipe ont compilé 12 études indépendantes, soit 2 472 participants, et relevé un effet faible mais fiable entre parentification dans l'enfance et troubles psychologiques à l'âge adulte.”
Turkish Student Study
A 2026 study of 448 Turkish students found parentification linked to higher anxiety and depression symptoms.
“Une étude menée auprès de 448 étudiants turcs a montré que la parentification centrée sur les parents allait de pair avec davantage d'anxiété et de symptômes dépressifs.”
Relationship Strain in Couples
Adults who took on parental roles in childhood may feel overwhelmed in relationships, leading to burnout.
“Les chercheurs notent que les personnes parentifiées dans l'enfance étaient enclines à accepter ce rôle auprès de leur conjoint, au prix d'un épuisement dans leur relation.”
The Real Work of Adulthood
Learning to ask for help and set boundaries reduces relationship strain for those who grew up as the 'reasonable' child.
“Oser demander de l'aide, poser une limite, laisser l'autre se débrouiller un peu. Apprendre à recevoir aussi bien qu'à donner est souvent le vrai travail d'adulte.”
In short
Children who took on adult responsibilities as kids face higher anxiety and depression in adulthood, but learning to ask for help reduces relationship strain.
