The overprotective parent trap

Many parents build walls around their children to shield them from disappointment and negative emotions, risking disconnection from reality. Psychologist Hélène Romano says the goal should be helping children understand their world, not protecting them from everything.

“Je veux simplement le protéger”

Avoid becoming a blue helmet parent

Romano warns against what she calls blue helmet parenting, where parents try to prevent all dangers and shield children from any suffering. This excessive vigilance becomes problematic when it takes over completely.

Children absorb parental anxiety

Even when parents try to hide their worries, children sense the anxiety and try to make sense of it. They may fill gaps with their own interpretations, sometimes believing they're responsible for their parent's distress.

Overprotection prevents resilience

When parents systematically remove all difficulties, children never learn they can handle challenges. They fail to develop resources for facing adversity and may struggle to trust themselves or the world.

Become a translator of meaning

Instead of preventing what might frighten children, parents should help them make sense of what they see. Romano describes the parent's role as a translator of meaning, welcoming what the child perceives and helping them integrate it.

Let children experience difficulties

Growing up means navigating disappointment, failure, and fear. Parents don't need to eliminate emotions or solve problems immediately. Being present, listening, and reassuring while letting children experience challenges builds genuine emotional security.

“Permettre à son enfant de traverser des épreuves”