What soft swinging actually is

Soft swinging is partner swapping without penetration. Kissing, oral sex, and manual stimulation are allowed, but each couple sets their own rules.

“The soft swinging, it's doing other things without going all the way.”

Why Mormon couples started doing it

Young Mormon couples marry early in strict communities where adultery is condemned. Soft swinging offered a way to explore sexuality without breaking religious rules.

The appeal for adventurous couples

Sexologist Carolanne Marcantonio says soft swinging lets couples explore natural curiosities with others while keeping their primary relationship intact and secure.

“You can explore these natural curiosities with others, then reconnect with each other, still on solid and safe ground.”

When boundaries break down

In the Mormon scandal, one partner developed feelings for someone outside the arrangement. The agreement only worked when both partners were present and aware.

“The agreement was, as long as we were both present and saw it and knew it, it was fine.”

The real work is talking

Therapist Jillian Amodio says couples must define what intimacy, sex, and infidelity mean to each of them. If definitions differ, problems emerge.

“If your definition differs from your partner's, that's where the problems arise.”

Keep the conversation going

Therapists encourage honest and regular check-ins to track how the arrangement is evolving and whether both partners still feel comfortable.