From Psychologies · Louise Leboyer · · 1m
Why You Feel Behind in Life
Stanford researcher explains why you might feel behind in life despite having the right choices.
In brief
Stanford researcher explains why you might feel behind in life despite having the right choices. Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen shows that feeling behind in life often stems from a mismatch between your ideal self and reality, not poor choices. Originally reported by Psychologies.
The Ideal Life Dream
People often imagine a future life with marriage, children, and career goals by age 30.
“À 30 ans, j'espère être mariée, avoir au moins un enfant et le métier de mes rêves.”
Social Clock Theory
Bernice Neugarten's social clock theory shows how societal norms influence life expectations.
“La psychologue Bernice Neugarten a démontré comment les normes sociales associent certains événements à certains âges.”
Ideal Self vs Reality
E. Tory Higgins' theory explains how the gap between your ideal self and reality causes disappointment.
“Lorsque la réalité ne correspond pas au soi idéal, cela peut produire de la tristesse ou de la déception.”
Time Perception Shift
Laura Carstensen's research shows that as people age, their focus shifts from exploration to meaning.
“Quand nous pensons avoir beaucoup de temps devant nous, nous cherchons davantage à explorer.”
The Real Reason for Regret
Feeling behind in life often comes from a mismatch between your ideal self and societal expectations.
“Cette impression de ne pas être là où l'on voudrait peut être le signe que le soi idéal ne correspond pas fondamentalement à soi.”
What to Do Next
Use your time wisely to align your life with your values and needs as you age.
“Il ne tient qu'à nous d'en faire bon usage et d'essayer, tant bien que mal, de nous diriger vers une vie qui nous correspond davantage.”
The key point
Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen shows that feeling behind in life often stems from a mismatch between your ideal self and reality, not poor choices.
