From Slate Magazine · Logan Sachon · · 1m
Daughter's Calming Word Sparks Parent's Anxiety
A 7-year-old girl's repetitive 'Daisy' calls make her mom feel like she's hearing 'fire!'
In brief
A 7-year-old girl's repetitive 'Daisy' calls make her mom feel like she's hearing 'fire!' A mother's anxiety spikes when her 7-year-old daughter repeatedly uses a nickname as a calming mechanism, causing her to feel like she's hearing 'fire!' Originally reported by Slate Magazine.
Daughter's Calming Mechanism
A 7-year-old girl uses a nickname called 'Daisy' repeatedly to calm herself.
“She’ll stick with one for awhile, and they generally successfully help her regulate without interfering with her life or relationships.”
Parent's Anxiety Response
Her mother feels her nervous system is on fire from the constant use of the nickname.
“I am in a constant state of heightened readiness. I am desperate for a break, but it feels like someone is yelling 'LOOK OUT!!' or 'FIRE!' in my ear, all the time.”
Parenting Approach
The parents gently redirect her behavior without judgment, following her lead when she wants help.
“Her dad and I have read all the resources and treat these behaviors appropriately, gently redirecting if necessary, following her lead if she wants to be reminded (for example, she asked us to help her stop sucking her hair), never judging or shaming, etc.”
Current Challenge
The daughter uses 'Daisy' in hundreds to thousands of ways daily across conversations, songs, and activities.
“I cannot express the number of times and ways she uses this in a single day. Hundreds. Thousands?”
Expert Advice
The columnist suggests creating a different code word for when the daughter needs attention instead of using 'Daisy'.
“Tell her that you love that she loves singing 'Daisy' all day, but it presents a problem: You can’t be sure whether she is actually trying to get your attention or not!”
Parent's Relief Strategy
The mother can use headphones or earplugs to reduce noise and get time out with her daughter's dad.
“A regular pair of over-ear headphones might provide you with enough relief, especially if you add a podcast or music. You could also try in-ear plugs or over-ear defenders designed to muffle noise.”
The takeaway
A mother's anxiety spikes when her 7-year-old daughter repeatedly uses a nickname as a calming mechanism, causing her to feel like she's hearing 'fire!'
