The sin of cutting in

Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the podcast Were You Raised by Wolves?, says line-cutters are ripping the fabric of society apart. But worse, we have to live with you.

“You are ripping the fabric of society apart.”

Why it feels personal

Richard C.Larson, a professor emeritus of data, systems, and society at MIT who has studied queuing, says the cutter's implied message is: a minute of my life is worth more than a minute of yours.

“A minute of my life is worth more than a minute of yours.”

Before you confront them

Ask yourself what speaking up would accomplish.Are you trying to reclaim your turn or get revenge?

Is this the hill to die on

Nick Leighton's gut check is to ask yourself: is this the hill you want to die on?That's always a good etiquette question.Also consider your safety.

“Health and safety always trumps etiquette.”

Why people hate line-cutting

Marie Helweg-Larsen, a professor of psychology at Dickinson College, studied U two fans waiting for concert spots.Fans reacted negatively to someone cutting behind them too, even though their own place wasn't affected.

“You have to have people follow the rules.”

What to say if you speak up

Marie Helweg-Larsen suggests opening with: excuse me, but the line starts down there.Aim for an I'm just trying to be helpful kind of vibe.

“Excuse me, but the line starts down there.”

Timing matters

Nick Leighton says your window of opportunity is short. As soon as it happens, that's when you need to say something. Waiting until you've spent five minutes glaring won't make the conversation any easier.

“Your window of opportunity is short.”

If they won't move

Ryan Martin suggests a firmer follow-up: I really think you should go back to the back of the line.You're making a direct request without adding an insult.

“I really think you should go back to the back of the line.”

When to escalate or drop it

If the person still refuses to move, resist the urge to keep arguing.At a concert venue, amusement park, or staffed location, you can ask an employee or security person to step in.

“You can always appeal to a higher authority.”

Don't add more rudeness

If you decide to drop it, drop the parting shot too. A sarcastic remark might feel irresistible, but Nick Leighton advises against adding more rudeness to the encounter. It will not achieve anything.

“It will not achieve anything.”